Talking to Others

Did you know that you can say just about anything to just about anyone and have it well received? Absolutely true.

It is not what you say, instead of how you say it.  I have taught so many classes and given so many line training sessions in my career that I have learned how to do this.

No one can run into a strange situation with a bunch of strangers, just say something and expect them to understand and agree with what you are saying. You need to be a known quantity who cares for and respects your audience.

I think it’s time I told you the secret, and also let you in on a secret of mine.

There is a tone that you can use when speaking to people. It’s the same tone that you use when you talk to a puppy dog. If you want a puppy dog to pay attention you have to speak to the dog nicely. You need a calm voice and an easy-going cadence. We start off telling the puppy dog that it is a good dog and you know that it is doing good things.

When you first start doing this do not go over and try to pet the puppy dog. That is how people end up with the nickname lefty. Rather, talk nicely to the puppy dog, and fairly soon it will come to you and nuzzle your hand for a pet or lick your hand. I usually speak to puppy dogs through a fence. When I do so, at some point, whether it is 10 minutes or 10 days, the puppy dog will put its front paws up on the fence, and then I can cautiously offer it my hand.

The same is true with humans. Talk to them nicely, tell them you appreciate what they do, let them know you’re here to help and give them enough space that they feel comfortable. Use the same calm voice and consistency. Understand their problems and explain that you are here to help them.

The humans probably will not lick your hand. If they do, it may be the time to involve HR. You will be able to tell you are making a good impression on the humans when they start trusting you enough to ask why, or they start to participate in the activities.

For you, this is a learned activity. The more you work on the way you talk, the easier it will become. Like everything else, start slowly at first and build upon your successes.

My secret? I used to be very embarrassed to tell people they needed to talk to other people like they should talk to puppy dogs. Actually, I got that wrong. You should talk to puppy dogs like you should talk to other people.

Do You Wish For More Time?

Many of you wish for more time. If you ever find a way to get more time, please write me and let me know. I believe that we only have so much time. Each of us has 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day. We have seven days in a week, 52 weeks in a year, 10 years to a decade and, if we are lucky, we should have between seven and 10 decades to our life.

What we really want is a better quality of the time we have. And that, with a little work, we can do.

How many of you are like me? I sit in my TV room downstairs and look around at the mess. I wish I could find more time to do something about it, yet I only sit there. I get up and go into my office where I sit in my office chair and look at the piles of messes everywhere. I wish I had time to clean everything up, yet I just sit there. I can name any other room in the house and yet the view and the outcomes on the same.

I’m amazed that I always have time to read, watch TV, play games, and yet room to room nothing ever gets better. And nothing can get better until I decide to stop looking for more time and instead seek better time.

Better time is easy to do. It only takes a little forethought. You can start your road to a better time by first making a few notes which will help you to figure out what is more important to you. Sit down with a pencil and a piece of paper or some post-its and write down everything you do.  Include the games, the TV, the computer, the books, etc. If you’re using Post-it notes, list one item per post-it.

The next thing to do is to take the list and prioritize it. You can start anywhere and be prepared to put things above and below because as you add more items some will be a higher priority, and some will be a lower priority. If you are using Post-it’s, please be careful not to put them in an area where they could mar the paint. As you come across items that need to be repeated daily or weekly please list that next to the item with an RD for daily, RW for weekly, and RM for monthly, etc.

Typically, you will get your calendar. To start, add what you want to do based on your priorities. You’re going to place your highest priorities on the calendar first, and then add more priorities until the calendar is full. For many people, this ends up looking like an extensive to-do list. The problem with to-do lists is that they never allocate time and therefore little really gets done because you have more items to do than you have time to deal with.

What I’m proposing you do which is different is the setting up of the time to do each item. Start with those things which are reoccurring. Find time for what you need to do daily, and then what you need to do weekly and then what you need to do monthly, etc.

The initial cleaning of a messy office may take 8 to 10 hours spread out over a week. And you will not have to do that every week unless you really like to make messes as fast as you clean them. Tidying up an office daily could take five minutes. The same with cleaning the kitchen or any other room in the house.

Once you have all your reoccurring items of priority placed into the calendar, then start with your highest priority item and put that on the calendar, and then set the next item into the calendar. Please, allow enough time to complete each item you place on the calendar. If possible to do so, it is understandable that you may want to have two or three different sessions to complete a significant task.

Some people end up with a lot of time left over when loading the calendar. That is good, and you can think of things that you’ve always wanted to do, which you can plug into those times. Some people will end up with too many items and not enough time. And, this is where some decisions have to be made. The choices are whether to place this task on the back burner until time becomes available or, to bump another task and put this one in its place.

Quite often it takes a little time to get used to the idea of using a calendar and sticking to what needs to be done when. This is especially true if you are not used to the practice of using a calendar. If you put in the energy and give the new ideas a little time, it will work for you. If you need a little incentive, go to the mirror, raise your right hand and promise the person in the mirror, that you are willing to work at making this happen. When you do use this method, you will be able to see your priorities actually come to fruition.

 

 

 

Collaberate Within

Good morning.

I have a great question for you this morning. What have you done lately for the person in the mirror?

Have you sat down and had an honest talk with the person? That’s right, the one in the mirror.

In here worried that somebody is going to consider you certifiable when they find you talking to that person in the mirror, do when you’re alone. Do it in the morning when you first get up, or in the evening before you go to bed. Point is to compare with that person and do it often.

Why? Only you truly know how you feel. Only you really know what you think. And only you, are the person who can make this happen, for you.

Yes, to make things happen on the follow-through, you need to reach out to everyone you can think of who may be a stakeholder or part of what you want to do and where you want to go. Only you can start the way and keep the ball rolling and be the primary guide through its journey to a successful conclusion.

Everybody has people who can help them. Sometimes when you start doing even know who those people are going to be. Yet, they are out there, and as you open up about your work, you will find them and sometimes they will find you. The thing is if you’re not out there trying, they will not know to come to your basement and seek you out.

You need to go forth in good faith and demonstrate the path you walk. For as you do, you will find many footsteps both seen and unseen walking with you.

Initial Momentum

Good morning.

I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I was able to get out in my yard and trimmed back all the invasive bushes some of which had gained a good 6 feet and thought they were going to be trees.

It is incredible how we can be stymied by so many things to do. So many things that we can’t get anything done. And yet the piles still grow and grow. And then all of a sudden, one small piece of serendipity, a break in the calendar of things to do, or something else happens, and we can suddenly be swamped doing everything that had us crying uncle just a few days before.  Truth is the initial momentum to start moving something takes more energy than that needed to keep it in motion.

Because of that three extra hours that kicked everything off, this week I have a meeting with the tax lady to complete her taxes, and a procedure on Thursday. One of those procedures for people over 50 that we have to prep for. Well for a little bit I guess we have to be careful of what we wish for. In this case, though everything is indeed a blessing to be able to get it done.

I recommend that everybody look for that small break, that one thing that can get you started. Once you are started, you can go as far as you want to. My idea: never stop.  After all, it takes less energy to keep something moving than to start it moving in the first place.

 

ENFP-T

Good morning, it is a beautiful bright blue sky out there this morning I was able to see the half moon in the sky as I walked into work today.

Have you ever taken on more than you can do? More than you can handle? And, sometimes more than you would like? I do that all the time. In testing assessments recently, I tested one that mimicked the Myers-Briggs. It told me I was in ENFP and that is correct. I have taken the Myers-Briggs and similar assessments several times. I know this to be true. I am an educator and trainer of adults.

What I had not known until now, and makes perfect sense, is that have -T or turbulent tendencies. This is caused when an ENFP personality wants to do everything they encounter. It is not enough just to teach, they become truly interested and want to know and do more.

The problem I find is the fact that although I love to learn and explore and do many things; resources such as funding, time, and abilities are often limiting factors. As I realized this, I started to do some research.

I found many articles which talked about the need for planning. Scheduling what can be done in the next 90 days, and doing it is very important. New items, coming in all the time, tend to disrupt attention and divert resources. This is not to say you should not explore items of interest. What it suggests though is to properly schedule the item for an upcoming quarter. And verify at the beginning of that quarter the actions you want to take.

I have begun scheduling my interests, with new books that I plan to write, new avenues I wish to explore, and the work that I owe to you, my audience.

The question is, “Will this make things better?” Only time will really tell. I believe we will both see the results together.

Thank you for putting up with me, and have a great day.

E – Extrovert

N – Intuitive

F – Feeling 

P – Prospecting

-T – Turbulent

What’s Next

Outside the weather is performing Shakespeare:

To snow or not to snow that is the question.

Whether ‘tis nobler in the minds of men

to leave the roads dry and passable

or cover them with flakes of winters glory.

Aye, that is the question.

Inside I am being attended to by my computers which keep watch over me. They help me not to make errors in writing. They are also the keepers of my calendar reminding me what to do and when to do it. This works great except for one small concern, I am the human loads the computer. Therefore, if I mess up, the computer can no longer keep me straight on what I am doing.

It is important to me to keep everything moving and running correctly. I like to work at a fast pace and stay busy 8 to 10 hours a day. I don’t know if I feel better when I work? Or, maybe when I am working, I just don’t feel the pain is much. Either way, at least I feel I’m accomplishing something.

My problem is I either end up overbooked, missing something because I put it on the wrong calendar, turning down classes and webinars because I think I don’t have enough time.

Therefore, I’m resolved to set up one system that will work duration of the word perfectly.

Hang around with me and tell me your positive and negative stories about the electronic calendar and we will see if I can come up with one system that I can make to work perfectly.

If you have a great system that works for you, please write in and tell me about it I’d be very interested.

Thanks and have a great day everyone.

Your Time

Thank you for being with me today I don’t know where you are. Here it is beautiful, sunny, with clear skies.

My question today is a simple one, “are you taking care of yourself?”

When we are younger, our parents take care of us. As we grow a little, we find ourselves taking care of our kids. And, as we get a little bit older, we find our kids taking care of us. This must be one of those universal cycles. And, as is true in life, we always look out to help and take care of our family, our neighbor, and those we see who are in need of help. So my question stands, “are we taking time to take care of ourselves?”

I ask this because if we don’t take the time, and we don’t listen to our bodies, the bodies have a way of speaking louder, to a point where we cannot ignore them. It is much easier to take care of a whisper than it is to fix a body when it is screaming at you.

I have been there, and I have done this myself to an extent, so I understand. With everything we have these days and very busy lives, we seem to be continuously running the race for others and saving time by ignoring our needs.

This is just one man’s opinion; however, with all the communication software we have on the market today, we can stay in contact with everyone for very little or no cost. Tie that into calendar systems which will keep track of each of your events, appointments, and meetings. The next thing you know, you have a system of organization.

The next thing you need to do to set up your calendar from the inside out. Start with you, and start with seven hours of sleep minimum, eight hours is even better. Lunchtime is the time to get out from behind The desk or off the construction line. Eat something and look around a little. Taking this respite from work is needed. Your work for the rest of the day will far eclipse anything you could’ve gotten done over lunch.

When you set this up, be sure not to sink the whole program by scheduling your ‘me time,’ at the same time somebody else needs your help whether it is kid’s soccer, your spouse’s ‘me time’ or other events you also need to pay attention to.

This is something each of us has to do for ourselves. And like everything else, it will take time and practice to get it right. The neat thing is it is something everyone can succeed at when we work at it. You succeed for your children, you succeed for your parents, you succeed for your spouse, and now, you can also succeed for you.

Have a great day