Tag: Habits

Building Better Habits

Anything we repeatedly do or repeat in a set pattern can be considered a habit. Habits are not necessarily good or bad; they are just things we do based on expectation and repetition.

To build better habits, think of the actions that make you feel better and put you in a better position to face your day’s challenges. It may be taking a morning shower, shaving, and combing your hair. It could be drinking more water and less soda. Maybe your habit would be going to the gym to start your day or unwind after work is over.

Whatever helps you best and is done regularly over time will become your habit. You just need to start the actions and do them regularly.

What would help you to do better?

Habits

We had an adage in the Air Force, ‘To be early is to be on time.’ And the saying has a deeper meaning than just being to appointments on time. It means to take care of concerns as soon as possible. Take care of those problems before they turn into significant issues.

Considering the planes that we flew in, the spacecraft we used, and the missions we had, a small concern not taken care of could quickly grow into a massive problem. It was vitally important for us to stay on top of what was going on and keep everything working well. Staying on top of things in your work life and your home is just as vital to you as my mission was to me.

You need to stay on top of those things you count on, and the things that would be problematic if they failed. Missing a payment to the utilities could leave you in the dark. Running out of some medications might cause severe medical problems. Not filling the car with gas and checking the tires could end up with you stuck in the middle of nowhere and you may not have enough bars on your phone to call for help. You need to stay on top of what is essential.

The good news is if you do something long enough it becomes a habit. You do good things you have good habits. If you do bad things, you have bad habits. I cannot tell you which habits will be your good ones, and which habits will be the bad ones. All I can do is recommend you take a look at what you do and find out what works for you and what seems to be problematic.

If something is actually working in your favor and possibly even helps others you interact with, it may be a good habit, and you may want to keep it. If you find yourself running down to the utility company the week after the payment was due, or if you continually have to call your doctor for new medications, maybe those habits are not your best ones. The good news is if you want to fix that you can.

A habit is nothing more than doing something over and over again in a certain way. If you like what you’re doing and it helps you, keep doing it. If you find yourself doing something the same way time after time and it causes you a problem, you need to replace it with something that does work for you. And to replace it all you have to do is pick something different that you think will work for you and try it out. If it works well, keep doing it.

Many people who try to get rid of a bad habit do so cold turkey. This leaves a vacuum where the bad habit used to be. And vacuums cannot happen in our world, and that is why picking a bad habit is hard to do. Instead of stopping cold turkey and leaving a void, start a good habit that replaces the bad one. This way you have no gap to contend with because you’re busy doing the new good habit.

No one else can tell you what is going to work and not work for you. You have to try and then figure that out on your own. The only thing anyone else can do is give you encouragement and possibly help you consider ideas. In your life, only you are in charge.

Thanks for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Ahhh… Sensory Perceptions

Good morning.

The sky is blue, and the temperature is cool shirt sleeve weather.  This will be a great spring day.

Did you ever stop to think how things get done? The dread of taking out of the trash? The fear and loathing of the laundry? The dank despair of the dishes? There’s a very easy explanation to help all these things become accomplishments.

The truth is, they get done because the only thing worse than having to do these unpleasant deeds, is to not do them and have to live with the results. Therefore, we do the tasks we often hate. And as we do those tasks, we find a reward.

Our hard work culminates in several sensory delights. The area we were working in Looks better. The same area probably smells better. And, there is a comfortable realization that for the moment it is one less thing to do.

All of these sensory perceptions are actually highlighted by the release of endorphins in the brain that make you feel better. The endorphins and the positive sensory perceptions upon the completion of the task actually work together to provide you a very positive experience.

You still may not like to do the dishes or clean the bathroom. Yet, with positive completion experiences, you might be willing to do it again and sometime in the future. As these things come about, they form habits. Habits persist because of the outcomes they produce.

If the endorphins and positive sensory perceptions do not work out well for you, McDonald’s always worked for my kids.

Have a wonderful day and a fantastic week.

Do You Wish For More Time?

Many of you wish for more time. If you ever find a way to get more time, please write me and let me know. I believe that we only have so much time. Each of us has 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day. We have seven days in a week, 52 weeks in a year, 10 years to a decade and, if we are lucky, we should have between seven and 10 decades to our life.

What we really want is a better quality of the time we have. And that, with a little work, we can do.

How many of you are like me? I sit in my TV room downstairs and look around at the mess. I wish I could find more time to do something about it, yet I only sit there. I get up and go into my office where I sit in my office chair and look at the piles of messes everywhere. I wish I had time to clean everything up, yet I just sit there. I can name any other room in the house and yet the view and the outcomes on the same.

I’m amazed that I always have time to read, watch TV, play games, and yet room to room nothing ever gets better. And nothing can get better until I decide to stop looking for more time and instead seek better time.

Better time is easy to do. It only takes a little forethought. You can start your road to a better time by first making a few notes which will help you to figure out what is more important to you. Sit down with a pencil and a piece of paper or some post-its and write down everything you do.  Include the games, the TV, the computer, the books, etc. If you’re using Post-it notes, list one item per post-it.

The next thing to do is to take the list and prioritize it. You can start anywhere and be prepared to put things above and below because as you add more items some will be a higher priority, and some will be a lower priority. If you are using Post-it’s, please be careful not to put them in an area where they could mar the paint. As you come across items that need to be repeated daily or weekly please list that next to the item with an RD for daily, RW for weekly, and RM for monthly, etc.

Typically, you will get your calendar. To start, add what you want to do based on your priorities. You’re going to place your highest priorities on the calendar first, and then add more priorities until the calendar is full. For many people, this ends up looking like an extensive to-do list. The problem with to-do lists is that they never allocate time and therefore little really gets done because you have more items to do than you have time to deal with.

What I’m proposing you do which is different is the setting up of the time to do each item. Start with those things which are reoccurring. Find time for what you need to do daily, and then what you need to do weekly and then what you need to do monthly, etc.

The initial cleaning of a messy office may take 8 to 10 hours spread out over a week. And you will not have to do that every week unless you really like to make messes as fast as you clean them. Tidying up an office daily could take five minutes. The same with cleaning the kitchen or any other room in the house.

Once you have all your reoccurring items of priority placed into the calendar, then start with your highest priority item and put that on the calendar, and then set the next item into the calendar. Please, allow enough time to complete each item you place on the calendar. If possible to do so, it is understandable that you may want to have two or three different sessions to complete a significant task.

Some people end up with a lot of time left over when loading the calendar. That is good, and you can think of things that you’ve always wanted to do, which you can plug into those times. Some people will end up with too many items and not enough time. And, this is where some decisions have to be made. The choices are whether to place this task on the back burner until time becomes available or, to bump another task and put this one in its place.

Quite often it takes a little time to get used to the idea of using a calendar and sticking to what needs to be done when. This is especially true if you are not used to the practice of using a calendar. If you put in the energy and give the new ideas a little time, it will work for you. If you need a little incentive, go to the mirror, raise your right hand and promise the person in the mirror, that you are willing to work at making this happen. When you do use this method, you will be able to see your priorities actually come to fruition.

 

 

 

Initial Momentum

Good morning.

I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I was able to get out in my yard and trimmed back all the invasive bushes some of which had gained a good 6 feet and thought they were going to be trees.

It is incredible how we can be stymied by so many things to do. So many things that we can’t get anything done. And yet the piles still grow and grow. And then all of a sudden, one small piece of serendipity, a break in the calendar of things to do, or something else happens, and we can suddenly be swamped doing everything that had us crying uncle just a few days before.  Truth is the initial momentum to start moving something takes more energy than that needed to keep it in motion.

Because of that three extra hours that kicked everything off, this week I have a meeting with the tax lady to complete her taxes, and a procedure on Thursday. One of those procedures for people over 50 that we have to prep for. Well for a little bit I guess we have to be careful of what we wish for. In this case, though everything is indeed a blessing to be able to get it done.

I recommend that everybody look for that small break, that one thing that can get you started. Once you are started, you can go as far as you want to. My idea: never stop.  After all, it takes less energy to keep something moving than to start it moving in the first place.

 

ENFP-T

Good morning, it is a beautiful bright blue sky out there this morning I was able to see the half moon in the sky as I walked into work today.

Have you ever taken on more than you can do? More than you can handle? And, sometimes more than you would like? I do that all the time. In testing assessments recently, I tested one that mimicked the Myers-Briggs. It told me I was in ENFP and that is correct. I have taken the Myers-Briggs and similar assessments several times. I know this to be true. I am an educator and trainer of adults.

What I had not known until now, and makes perfect sense, is that have -T or turbulent tendencies. This is caused when an ENFP personality wants to do everything they encounter. It is not enough just to teach, they become truly interested and want to know and do more.

The problem I find is the fact that although I love to learn and explore and do many things; resources such as funding, time, and abilities are often limiting factors. As I realized this, I started to do some research.

I found many articles which talked about the need for planning. Scheduling what can be done in the next 90 days, and doing it is very important. New items, coming in all the time, tend to disrupt attention and divert resources. This is not to say you should not explore items of interest. What it suggests though is to properly schedule the item for an upcoming quarter. And verify at the beginning of that quarter the actions you want to take.

I have begun scheduling my interests, with new books that I plan to write, new avenues I wish to explore, and the work that I owe to you, my audience.

The question is, “Will this make things better?” Only time will really tell. I believe we will both see the results together.

Thank you for putting up with me, and have a great day.

E – Extrovert

N – Intuitive

F – Feeling 

P – Prospecting

-T – Turbulent

What We Do For Others

It is a beautiful new day and a beautiful new week. I had planned for a wonderful new me and still hope for that even though I seem to be running an hour late for everything.

It is amazing the things we do that we don’t even realize. Those little things, the ones which means so much to someone else. Saying hi to a passer-by on the street is a small thing, and yet it might be the only kind word heard all day. Sometimes just to point out something that someone did well may be the only thanks they ever get for that action. And sometimes, when somebody is at their lowest point, the action of the stranger can pull them back from the darkness of the abyss.

Many times, we do not understand the full extent to which a nod of the head to someone or smile may mean to them. In our days of high technology, and paranoid fear of others it is often good to take that chance. Just a smile on a nod of the head, or a hello as you pass on the street. You can hardly know some of the good it does for others.

This gives someone who feels unseen, the good feeling of being noticed. Somebody who feels he or she is a nobody, realizes they are somebody. Someone who has often lost all hope finds that spark of humanity.

The thing that those who never do this, never learn is the most important fact. The fact is that when you do this to someone else the good feeling isn’t just theirs. You also share that feeling of momentary connection to others.

What’s Next

Outside the weather is performing Shakespeare:

To snow or not to snow that is the question.

Whether ‘tis nobler in the minds of men

to leave the roads dry and passable

or cover them with flakes of winters glory.

Aye, that is the question.

Inside I am being attended to by my computers which keep watch over me. They help me not to make errors in writing. They are also the keepers of my calendar reminding me what to do and when to do it. This works great except for one small concern, I am the human loads the computer. Therefore, if I mess up, the computer can no longer keep me straight on what I am doing.

It is important to me to keep everything moving and running correctly. I like to work at a fast pace and stay busy 8 to 10 hours a day. I don’t know if I feel better when I work? Or, maybe when I am working, I just don’t feel the pain is much. Either way, at least I feel I’m accomplishing something.

My problem is I either end up overbooked, missing something because I put it on the wrong calendar, turning down classes and webinars because I think I don’t have enough time.

Therefore, I’m resolved to set up one system that will work duration of the word perfectly.

Hang around with me and tell me your positive and negative stories about the electronic calendar and we will see if I can come up with one system that I can make to work perfectly.

If you have a great system that works for you, please write in and tell me about it I’d be very interested.

Thanks and have a great day everyone.

Take Time

How are you doing?  Are you taking time for yourself?

We do so much for so many others, and often we forget to take time for ourselves. Sometimes, we demand so much from ourselves that when we cannot meet a goal or a deadline, we get upset…  with ourselves.

For being out there trying our best, I think we ought to give ourselves a break. After all, the bad news is, Hollywood already cast Superman and Wonder Woman, and we did not make the cut. We tend to give everyone else a break, and often we are much harder on ourselves.

Cutting ourselves some slack is not the same as backing off or giving up. It is the ability to take a step back, rest the body, clear the mind and rejuvenate the soul. If you can take 20 minutes a couple of times a day and possibly an hour or two a weekend, you will be amazed at what it does for you. Productivity you gain from that small time spent will more than make up the time you take to reset yourself.

What can you do in 20 minutes? You can take a walk outdoors and breathe some fresh air. You can walk up and down the hallway and do some stretches. You can sit in a quiet place and meditate. You can go watch a sunrise or a sunset. You could take a quick shower which would rejuvenate the mind and body. There are many things you could do, to take a step back from others, and the electronic world, and recharge a battery, your battery.

You get the idea. The thing to remember is, do not feel guilty to take care of yourself. After all, the good we do for others is important. Although, we should not destroy ourselves doing it.

Have You Ever?

Ever stared at a white sheet of paper knowing that you want to write something, and yet not quite sure what to write? Have you ever gone out to get one item, and returned home with everything except the one item you absolutely needed? Have you ever missed an important meeting, not because you did not want to go rather because you got tied up into any other things? These things do happen.

Why? Why, is an easy answer. We are human, and all humans have frailties. Mix that with a hectic lifestyle which many of us have and the danger of overlooking a need or desire becomes more prevalent. And yet, there is a multitude of possible cures and antidotes to improve the chances of completing what we really wanted to get done in the first place.

The biggest intervention we can use is our attitude. When things like this happen, we don’t want to go berserk or fly off the handle or get mad at ourselves. And at the same time, we don’t want to adopt an attitude of “Oh well,….” We need to find an approach that works for us, and no, not all approaches will work equally well for all people.

Each of us should find what works best for us. Many use a calendar and a to-do list. This works great for those who keep the list in the calendar up to date and in a small enough package to always have it handy. The smartphone works very well for this. The problem though is that we often fail to put things on our calendar or on our to-do list because in the back of our mind we believe they are too big to forget.

Others will write a sticky note at work and stick it to their ID badge, so they don’t forget. This works great until the note becomes unstuck and falls to the floor while walking down the hall. At that point, the note is no longer there to remind them. Four interruptions and one ad hoc meeting down the line, the person, may have completely forgotten about that important ‘whatever it was.’

Some managers will write themselves an email to remind them of what’s going on or why they did something in particular. If they don’t have a good system of filing their email, and if like most managers they get about 300 emails a day, it is easy for the facts to get lost in the electronic pile.

Does this mean that we’re hopeless, that we cannot overcome forgetfulness? We’re people, and people can overcome anything. In the last 5000 years how many things have threatened us, endangered us, tried to wipe us out? And yet, here we still are. To overcome this, we only need one thing. Habit.

We all have habits. Washing the car on a Saturday morning is a good habit. Playing games on the computer because I am bored and want to do something is a bad habit. We need to find habits that work for us, and we need to stick to them.

Can I tell you exactly which habits in which variations will work best for you? I am sorry I cannot. For most people reading this, we’ve never even really met face-to-face. What I can tell you is one habit I believe will work for you. As you are developing habits, try many things, drop those that don’t work, and keep those that do.

The other thing I could mention, cut back on electronic game playing. It’s always the frustrating ones that eat most of your time.

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