Talk as Though You’re Saying Nice Things

It’s interesting that we can be the most knowledgeable on the subject. We can be the most caring on the subject. We have desiring compassion and understanding, and we want to act on something. Yet, without good communication and collaboration, we often fail.

Often, we failed because we get too eager and try to do things too fast and in that effort, we end up putting others off rather than bringing them into collaboration.

We are humans. Humans run on emotions. Yes, humans do run on facts, yet often those facts are clouded by emotional and often irrational fears. When dealing with others, a slow and steady approach is better than rushing the other person. The idea, you don’t want to scare them off.

There are ways to talk to people, and there are ways to talk to people. One the best things I learned in my 13 years as an instructor in the classroom is that it is not what you say to people, rather it is how you talk to them. I’m almost embarrassed to tell the way it works.

The trick to having a good tone in the classroom, in the boardroom, on the factory floor, or at the coffee shop, is to speak kindly. That is,  speak in such a way that your puppy dog would stop and listen to you if he or she heard the talk.  The dog would not understand the meaning, just the pleasant tone.

If you can talk in such a way that your dog will stop and listen to you, then people will also stop and listen to you. It is not what you are saying. It is the way you are sending the information. I often practiced my courses with my dog in attendance, and she paid very good attention. I am glad to hear it was not because of the tuna fish sandwich I held in my hand.

The trick is to talk soft, and whatever you’re saying, talk as though you’re saying nice things. If you do this and do not get pushy, people will listen to you.  They listen because they hear empathy.

Another thing to think of is not to make my favorite error. Rush to judgment. It turns out I’m a guy. And guys like to fix things. I’d like to blame it on John Wayne. Unfortunately, I think this goes all the way back to the beginning of mankind. The trick is to stand back and listen, and this is true for both men and women. Listen, have a good understanding, understand the main characters in any situation and what is going on, and then when asked, have a polite recommendation or to.

Now even though the guy thing (above) is something I’ve been able to practice for many years, I recommend listening and learning and then suggesting or helping to act. It is hard, it is frustrating, and it is very necessary. No one will see the situation the same way you will. Because they are using different eyes different knowledge different brains and a different position within any situation.

This is something to think of and something to consider.

I am proud to announce that we have redesigned the http://www.readingsticks.space website. We are putting the final touches on to the website now. You may see it on Wednesday as we perform live testing. And, depending on how the testing goes we will be live, and running either Wednesday or Thursday.

If you’re interested in what I work with and talk about, please come and take a look at the website there are many interesting things.I think you’d like it.

Have a great day.

 

 

And Yet I Wondered

As I drove to work today, I passed the high school. I noticed an old man, sitting on the corner by the high school, looking tired and dejected. Next to him was an old baby carriage which held all his earthly possessions piled high, covered over with blankets and tarps, all in a heap just about as tall as he was. It made me wonder.

I went on to work. After a while got up to stretch my legs. I walked out to the corner of the block. A crew of construction workers was digging up the street to replace the storm drains. The storm drains had not been replaced in over 100 years and were well in need of the updating. I watched the crew as they tore the road apart. They had the sidewalks close in two directions, denying people from my corner the chance to cross the street. And, they were dismantling the traffic light base. It made me wonder.

On the way back to my office, I said hello to a lady who was walking by. She stopped and talked with me for a few moments. We talked about the way the town used to look.

We talked about the pride of keeping up with infrastructure. We discussed the copper thefts of the decade ago when thieves stole cable to many of the streetlights. We talked about how copper was so valuable to someone that sprinkler systems and copper statues were stolen. Even air conditioner condensers were stolen from the backs of buildings because of the copper tubing inside. We agreed that we had a great new counsel who would help us to bring the city back to its greatness.

And yet, I wondered.

I wonder how we can build a better  infrastructure.  How we can balance the care of material things and the care of people. I wonder why people end up on the street pushing an old basket of worldly possessions, because I seem to see them more and more.

I also wonder why people would be so destitute, they would be willing to steal electrified copper wire, providing electricity to street lights which are a safety concern of all of us. I wonder why as we build our infrastructure renewing it and keeping the city current and beautiful, we still have those whose life is so difficult and are so far out of touch.

It is said the poor will be with us always. This is true. And yet, we must understand that society is caught in lockstep. The height of society can only go as high as the lowest member of society can allow. For society to climb a ladder and go higher, the least of society must be able to move up the ladder an equal distance. If this does not happen, growth stops, everyone stagnates, and entropy enters the mix as the society starts to crumble.

Today, I still wonder. What can we do as a society to elevate the poorest and lowest among us so that we may pave the way and climb higher? I also wonder if we do not take on the challenge to raise the least of society how will we ever climb higher. I also wonder as we start to crumble, what will the entropy look like.

Please add your ideas and thoughts to this blog.  Thank you for reading.

 

Are You At The Top of the List of People Who Do What You Do?

Well, are you?  Some people will tell you that no matter where you are on the list, there will always be somebody above you and always be somebody below you. I don’t think that this works out logically.

There are over 1 million people who work for franchised car dealerships in America. If we had a million names on the list and measured them on work performance, somebody or a group of somebodies would be number one on the list. In the same for the last place on the list. Somebody has to hold the last place also.

The real question is, ‘How important to you, is your place on the list?’

Are you driven by a Desire to be number one?  If number one took home $50 million dollars a year, and you only take home $40 million a year, so what?  What difference is $10 Million a year?  Does it put you in a category of higher wealth or status?  Is the drive to number one an ego trip?  Would you still be going after the number one spot if the rewards did not make up for the losses you would experience along the way?

As our world economy evolves, those who are positive outliers will be the ones to profit.  Outliers are a given.  Yet, I wonder why, for some, just being an outlier is not enough.  Some look at themselves as failures unless they can be the best.  Number One!

The thing to know is, in the rest of the list below first place, there are plenty of people looking to unseat the leader and take over.  Being ‘Number One’ is a very tenuous and temporary position.  The money is good, yet is it that much different.

Spending more time working with the family, helping relatives, planning a future with the kids, and enjoying a well-cared for house and life, these are true works with great rewards.

Is being ‘Number One’ in business a good feeling?  Sure.  Are there greater rewards and good feelings to be found in live?  You Bet.

Love is a human trait

Love is a human trait.  Being loved in return proves success at being human. Not everyone gets to experience being loved. However, for those who do there is no better feeling in the entire world. Love is something that is fleeting, emotional, and full of risk. Love is also something which may stand the test of time, or be gone five minutes from now.

At its essence, love is. And, is given unconditionally. 

The why is rarely the same from individual to individual.  Often love evolves as small isolated actions are recognized and brought into a gestalt focus. Although almost impossible to define, the entire experience is undeniable to those who experience the actions.

If you do not identify the experience from another, it does not necessarily mean love is not there.  It only means the reception may be poor or not focused.  For some reason, and managed by higher forces in the universe, love is there for most.  The strange thing is that love almost never happens where we expect it to. 

The scariest part of love, it is quiet.  To experience love you need to open yourself to emotional dangers.  Becoming defenseless to any danger is not a normal human trait.  Not knowing the outcome to be positive or negative, each party stands in emotional danger.  True love is best taken slowly and built layer upon layer.

Love builds the bonds over time that are stronger than any other substance known today.  Love is more precious than gold or jewels.  Mainly because love is so much harder to find and flourish.

For all the hazards and pitfalls of the trail to real love, there is nothing like it and nothing better anywhere.

I highly recommend it.