Softly Speaking Wins

From time to time, we will run into situations where someone will get aggravated and start speaking loudly or aggressively. And, when peaceful calmness is broken, no one wins. Aggravation and loss of one’s temper never put anyone in a good light.

Speak softly, for loudness and agitation only bring more volume and anxiety in return. If you talk softly and look at the other person while doing so, and the louder they get, the softer you speak, they will calm down, and the tension will begin to evaporate. No one is helped by anger. And, no one is understanding anything, while voices are enraged.  Anger only causes more anxiety and rage.

At that point, everyone is trying to outdo everyone else to win.

If you want to win, be quiet and in control. Doing so you can disarm rising tensions.

Understand the Inner You

It is amazing how well we can do a task when we set our minds to something.

Sometimes what we do is so far beyond what we think we are capable of that we can’t see what we truly did and what it really meant until later. The time lag in our recognition doesn’t take away what our actions meant to others or how it helped them. The turmoil and actions of the moment mean more at a distance. You have to step back and take a look at the actions and what they led to as a whole.

It is important to have a set of values, beliefs, or goals you normally work towards. What you normally would work towards is what helps to ground you in the moments where you’re not so sure what the correct course of action is. This internal compass is going to help you to reach out and do the best you can.

When I was younger, there was a paper with many different feelings on it. And I was often asked to state how I felt any given time. I did not understand it then, I was used to people telling me what to think and feel. And yet now I have learned that knowing my feelings are very important. You need to know your feelings because they are you. And, we all need to be responsible for our own feelings.

To take ownership of your feelings, you need to know two things:

  • How do I feel?
  • Why do I feel that way?

This is the start of understanding your inner self and reading your inner compass correctly. When you can control your inner self, you can go far and do many wondrous things.

This is something to think about and to consider.

Have a great day, and I hope to talk to you again tomorrow.

 

Make a list

Good morning and welcome to another wonderful day. Why is it wonderful? Because you are here!

Today I have a task for you. It is an important task.  This task will help you to see both the forest and the trees.

I would like you to please make a list. The list is not for me, it is for you. Each of us should have a list like this. It helps us to understand how lucky we are.

The first part of making a list is just to rest. Take a few minutes to find a spot that’s comfortable and rest. Then it’s time to make your list. Write down something about yourself that makes you feel good, makes you happy, makes you confident.

 

Have you seen a sunrise or sunset lately? Did you enjoy it? Did it make you feel something? If the feeling was good, write it down. Did you laugh today? Write it down.

What you are doing is taking a measure of the positive things in your life. There are plenty of negative things, and you don’t need a list of those. What you need is a list of what’s good in your life. We all have positives and negatives. When the negatives weigh on my mind, it is always nice to pull out the list and remember the positives.

Have a great day. Hopefully, we’ll talk again soon.

How to Prioritize Danger

As humans, we often fear or panic over things which may happen in the future and for which there is no evidence at the moment. The lights might be turned off because ‘The utility bill is due at the end of the month.’ Or, ‘Southern Colorado might have a blizzard in a week, so we need to go to the store and stock up on everything right now.’ Or, ‘There was a bump in the road, I need to go back and look right now. Because someone may have gotten hurt and I may have hit them without ever seeing them.’ I won’t say that any of these things will never come to fruition. However, the odds are very favorable that none of these ever really will.

Is it wise to take precautionary measures? Yes. Is it a good thing to panic over things that have little chance of happening? Not so much. And yet, to the person having the panic attack, it is very real, and drastic measures must be immediately taken. How do you help this person down from near hysteria?

Start by talking to them calmly and ask them if they see anything within a 3 inch to a 6-inch radius around their body that poses an immediate danger. The answer is usually no. If there is, help the person to decide if it is a real danger or only a perceived possibility.

Next, ask them if there is anything within 18 inches of their body threatening danger. Again this usually has a negative response and follow-through is the same as the paragraph above. Next question, is there anything in the room that’s an obvious threat. From there go to the block and then the neighborhood.

You can go as far as you need to with this. Usually by the time you get to the neighborhood, the person you’re talking with starts to understand and feels better. Just because somebody occasionally feels overly upset about something, does that not mean that they have a medical or mental problem. Given the right circumstances, anyone may show this type of fear. If this is a full-time ongoing problem, the person may want to speak with a professional about it. If not, make it one less thing to worry about.

If You Change Your Angle

Hello and welcome back.

We’ve been talking about comfort zones. Up until now, we’ve been talking about having a comfort zone and going to a new one as something fearful. There are always worries about what might happen. The truth is you don’t know until you try.

Would it be fearful for something to offer you a large sum of money? To give you prestige? To give you a better lifestyle? You’re probably expecting me now to tell you all this happens with the comfort zone to the next. Sorry. As stated in the last blog, I have been around the block a few times. But I am here to tell you that with a little research and a little work moving from one comfort zone to another can be a very good thing.

Look at changing a comfort zone like this. I had a friend in Alaska who won a free trip to Hawaii from a radio station. It was for him and his wife, and the catch was they had to leave in two days. They both had jobs, and kids, and other responsibilities.

Most people would have just said no I can’t go, I have too many responsibilities. The contest involved packing suitcases, so the suitcases were packed. They each made a quick call and explanation to their jobs and their employers who understood and encouraged the trip. The next-door neighbor, who they traded babysitting with offered to take care of the kids while they were gone. And in about 18 hours, they were ready to board the plane and enjoy a vacation paid for by local radio station.

Many things look impossible when you’re down looking up. If you can change your angle of view a little bit, you can start to see ways in which obstacles diminish and opportunities become possible.

Take another look at the worries and concerns that you may have in trying to achieve something new. If you can adjust the view, maybe with reading a few articles or watching a few YouTube videos, maybe you can see a way.

Thank you for being with me today and listening to one person’s ideas. We hope you find the way to seek and find what you’re looking for.

We look forward to being with you again tomorrow. Thank you.

 

 

What does your comfort zone look like?

Team,

Due to some technical issues, I will not be able to give a full blog to you this morning.  I would like to leave you today, though, with the thoughts that we will explore for a while, starting tomorrow.

When do you feel most comfortable?  Is it when you are in your comfort zone or when you are transitioning from one comfort zone to another?

The experts say we rarely leave our comfort zone of our own accord.  What would cause you to leave your comfort zone?

I will be back tomorrow, and we will look at these in detail.

In the meantime, please use the comments section below to share what your comfort zone looks like and what it would take for you to move to another comfort zone.

 

Balloons

When I was a child at the ripe old age of seven, I had to go one day and get some new shoes. Probably for school. With the help of my mom, I found a great pair of shoes. Then as we checked out, the salesman insisted that I take a balloon. I did not want the balloon.

I did not want a balloon because balloons always broke. It made me sad when they broke. Even then, I knew that taking a balloon would equate to sadness at some soon, but future, point. However, I was encouraged to thank salesman and take the balloon.

I diligently protected the balloon under my overcoat as we walked to my grandparent’s row-house. I made sure the balloon, which came complete with cardboard feet, had a place on an end table where it would not be hurt. And as the night went on, after dinner I wanted to play with the balloon. I did so by pushing it into the air, and then every time it started to fall towards the floor I would tap it with my fingers. It would rise back up a few feet into the air and start the process again. Of course, everybody knows what’s coming up here. In about 15 minutes the balloon popped and with that, started the sadness.

This was not the balloon’s fault that it popped. And just because it popped did not mean I should not have accepted the balloon, because the balloon did bring me joy. Yet, there is a very important lesson between me and the balloon. One that I share today only because it is a good lesson for all of us.

What is the lesson of the balloon you may ask? When you love something, do not hold too tight or it may break. To enjoy a balloon is a great thing. Remember though, the balloon comes with its own needs and circumstances. And, to expect a balloon to be able to thrive outside of its operating parameters is to expect sadness, and sometimes breakage.

People are a lot like balloons. Maybe not quite as fragile, yet you would be surprised. People are also tricky because, in a world of seven billion people, there are actually 7 billion different human operating systems. For in a world of 7 billion, we are all individuals.

This means we have to take care when interacting with other people. We need to know that their parameters are not exactly like ours. They may need, want or desire different things. And, also remember if we hold them to close, care for them too much, or don’t let them breathe in what they need, they, like the balloon may break.