Category: peaceful discourse

Understand the Inner You

It is amazing how well we can do a task when we set our minds to something.

Sometimes what we do is so far beyond what we think we are capable of that we can’t see what we truly did and what it really meant until later. The time lag in our recognition doesn’t take away what our actions meant to others or how it helped them. The turmoil and actions of the moment mean more at a distance. You have to step back and take a look at the actions and what they led to as a whole.

It is important to have a set of values, beliefs, or goals you normally work towards. What you normally would work towards is what helps to ground you in the moments where you’re not so sure what the correct course of action is. This internal compass is going to help you to reach out and do the best you can.

When I was younger, there was a paper with many different feelings on it. And I was often asked to state how I felt any given time. I did not understand it then, I was used to people telling me what to think and feel. And yet now I have learned that knowing my feelings are very important. You need to know your feelings because they are you. And, we all need to be responsible for our own feelings.

To take ownership of your feelings, you need to know two things:

  • How do I feel?
  • Why do I feel that way?

This is the start of understanding your inner self and reading your inner compass correctly. When you can control your inner self, you can go far and do many wondrous things.

This is something to think about and to consider.

Have a great day, and I hope to talk to you again tomorrow.

 

A Few Questions To Think On

Last week we covered habits and systems. If you have the right systems inform the right habits to use them life gets a little easier. Without the right systems and the right habits, life gets tougher.

To understand what we need to do and why we must take a step higher, and look around. To help you with this, you need to get your notebook or writing pad, and you need to break down what is most important to you. This list is very important to you. You are making this list to better understand where your work is.

As you start to make your list, I’m learning to ask a few questions just to help you get started and to help you think a little bit about what is most important to you.

Which is most important:

  • Does family come before or after employment?
  • Which comes first, kids or friends?
  • Do you take care of yourself or others first?
  • Is your car a showpiece, or something to get you from point A to point B?
  • Are you happy with the way your house or apartment looks? If not, what steps do you take to change the appearance?
  • Do you ever not go to the doctor because of work needs?
  • How many nights a week do you not get enough sleep? Why?

The next question tells you where you want to end up.

  • If at the end of your life, your friends and family and former coworkers throw you a Three speeches are made about three significant things in your life. What do you want the three items to be? And what would you like the speakers to say?

When you get through thinking about this and writing everything down, a couple of questions are still left:

  • If you make no changes, will the speeches say what you wanted to hear?
  • If not, what would you change so the speeches could be given in a way you would like to hear them?
  • What do you think it would take to make the speeches reality?
  • Are you willing to put in the effort?

These are the questions for you to ponder. Making notes and writing things down is quite often less confusing and ensures that you will probably not forget the subtle things that you should remember along the way.

Looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow, have a great day.

Think about your Comfort zones

Thank you for being with us today.

We have been talking about comfort zones and what may happen when we have to leave one comfort zone and move to a new comfort zone.

Sometimes we are convinced that if we leave our comfort zone, we will never find another one again. It’s a real fear, and yet it is one that I assure you is nothing to worry about. Will you find a comfort zone? Yes, you will build it for yourself, we always do.

Look back over your life, and think for a moment. How many times have you changed comfort zones? The first day of going to school, whether it was kindergarten or first grade, was a change in your comfort zone. It was something new and different. And, although it may have looked scary at first, you met people, learn things, and were better overall from moving from one comfort zone to another.

I can cite several other times you changed comfort zones at least times most of us did. Going from grade school to junior high. The first day of high school initiated a change of comfort zones. Your first job. The first time he left home on your own. Matriculating to college is a very scary change in comfort zones. And there are many others.  Some happen to everyone, and some are unique to ourselves.

We would like to encourage you to take a few minutes and think about the different comfort zones you found yourself in throughout your life. What was good about the comfort zone? What about the comfort zone wasn’t as good as the comfort zones you had before it or after it? And, before you changed from one comfort zone to another what were the knowledge points you wish you would’ve known ahead of time?

Please think this over, and if you wish to, please feel free to share in our comments area.

Please have a great day. And, remember, any time you move from one location to another whether it is to the end of the block for coffee or to the other side of the country for a new job, do so safely

Comfort Zone Security

Looks like we secured some of the technical problems with the computer and the microphones and today we are looking at why somebody would move out of their comfort zone.

I like my comfort zone. It is not neat, and not pretty. My comfort zone, though, is something that I am used to living in. I know where things are. I know most answers to whatever may come up. And I understand what my expectations and limitations are within my comfort zone. And yet, I have had to move out of the comfort zone many times before, and I know I will do so several times in the future.

Sometimes we move out of the comfort zone because we search for something better. Sometimes we move out of our comfort zone to support others in their quests. And sometimes we are forced out of our comfort zones through actions and changes which we had very little control over.

Some of my changes in comfort zones were because I was in the military and moved from one base to another. These changes were very agreeable to me because as a child my father was in the military, and we would move every two or three years. I liked seeing new surroundings, seeing new things and of course learning.  Every time you move from one comfort zone to another you learn new things.

Sometimes those things aren’t what you really wanted to learn. That is okay. I have a philosophy that says learning is good. At one point after I retired from the military, I learned what it was like to have your factory to close and move all of its operations overseas. I did not ask for this to happen. I was unhappy for myself and the hundreds of people out of work. This forced me to change my comfort zones whether I wanted to or not.

Everything being equal, you are at most risk when you move from one place to another. It is true when you go from one house to another, and when you’re on the road. The risk is present when you move from one job to another and have to learn new ways of doing things. When you move from one neighborhood to another, positive changes include meeting new friends. Negatives include the fact that you don’t know what the good and bad of the new neighborhood will include. Risks are always unpleasant. To minimize risk, we always want to get back into our comfort zone, new or old, as fast as possible.

With your permission, in upcoming blogs, I would like to explore the idea of the comfort zones a little bit more in detail. And maybe with the help of you and others, define some precautions that we can take while outside of our comfort zone which will make getting into the new comfort zone easier.

Thank you for reading, please leave us a comment!

 

 

 

Balloons

When I was a child at the ripe old age of seven, I had to go one day and get some new shoes. Probably for school. With the help of my mom, I found a great pair of shoes. Then as we checked out, the salesman insisted that I take a balloon. I did not want the balloon.

I did not want a balloon because balloons always broke. It made me sad when they broke. Even then, I knew that taking a balloon would equate to sadness at some soon, but future, point. However, I was encouraged to thank salesman and take the balloon.

I diligently protected the balloon under my overcoat as we walked to my grandparent’s row-house. I made sure the balloon, which came complete with cardboard feet, had a place on an end table where it would not be hurt. And as the night went on, after dinner I wanted to play with the balloon. I did so by pushing it into the air, and then every time it started to fall towards the floor I would tap it with my fingers. It would rise back up a few feet into the air and start the process again. Of course, everybody knows what’s coming up here. In about 15 minutes the balloon popped and with that, started the sadness.

This was not the balloon’s fault that it popped. And just because it popped did not mean I should not have accepted the balloon, because the balloon did bring me joy. Yet, there is a very important lesson between me and the balloon. One that I share today only because it is a good lesson for all of us.

What is the lesson of the balloon you may ask? When you love something, do not hold too tight or it may break. To enjoy a balloon is a great thing. Remember though, the balloon comes with its own needs and circumstances. And, to expect a balloon to be able to thrive outside of its operating parameters is to expect sadness, and sometimes breakage.

People are a lot like balloons. Maybe not quite as fragile, yet you would be surprised. People are also tricky because, in a world of seven billion people, there are actually 7 billion different human operating systems. For in a world of 7 billion, we are all individuals.

This means we have to take care when interacting with other people. We need to know that their parameters are not exactly like ours. They may need, want or desire different things. And, also remember if we hold them to close, care for them too much, or don’t let them breathe in what they need, they, like the balloon may break.

The Sanctity of Each Individual.

Once again, this weekend we have seen the horrible and tragic evidence of what happens when people cannot control themselves or get along. In this world, it seems we only have ourselves and each other. And for us to use survives and thrives as a species we must do more than battle with each other over words and ideals.

I’m not saying that ideals and words serve no account. I am saying that until we learn to talk in common and peaceful discourse, we are our own worse and most violent threat to our existence.

We are smart people, living our beliefs and dedicated to our causes. And yet, if we don’t learn to live with each other in civility, men with rockets and bombs that can reach the West Coast will do little compared to the destruction that we will do to ourselves.

We must all work towards the common good knowing the importance and the sanctity of each individual.

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