Category: Uncategorized

The Holidays

I know that for most of us, the annual holiday celebrations are about to kick off in a few days.  This is an annual rite that goes on for close to 2 weeks and ends up with us making resolutions not to do destructive things to ourselves in the future.  In lieu of the poor choices and mayhem, we promise ourselves to concentrate on that which should make us better in the long run. 

Please do not worry; next year’s rituals are safe.  It turns out you will have almost an entire year between the time you make a resolution and the time you may give it up for new festivities. In the meantime, there is ample opportunity to think of those things about yourself that would be good to overhaul.

I am working at being a better person this year by helping others who want to make themselves better people.  I have studied for 3 years and am now a certified Life Coach Practitioner.  This was a lot of work to accomplish, and I plan to put it to good use.

As the new year blossoms and grows, I hope to turn a small one coach office into a thriving Social Enterprise. I will use the money earned to offer pro bono services to those who need and want them, yet cannot afford them. It is my way of giving back through helping others.

I know that as this happens, my 5-day a week blog will probably end up a three day a week publication in the short run.  I hope to return it to a daily blog as soon as possible.  For all those who read my writings, please hang in there.  I will work to keep the blog running as often as I can.

For now, Please remember, you do not need a New Years Day to become a new you.  All you need is a new day.  That is why reveille rocks.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again soon.

Snow

We were blessed yesterday and the day before with a beautiful treasure of flaky frozen water that covered the earth and, for a while, it hid all of our junk underneath it. It is amazing how much better things look when you do not have to see your problems every time you look out the window. The junky back yard in the unkept front yard looks beautiful with a white carpet of snow laid over them.

We find it easy for us, also, to hide all of our unkept junk behind a covering smile, and a little makeup.  We always seek something new and different that can Hide our real worries and feelings from others.  We really want to hide them from ourselves. 

Our neighbors know the bump in the snow is an overturned tub with a hole in it. And those who know us probably know those things which we are desperately trying to coverup within ourselves.  You do not need to be made of glass to live in a fishbowl.  Those who see you often are smart enough to put the pieces of the puzzle together. 

If you cannot hide something, and cannot keep others from guessing, maybe it is good to go ahead and admit it.  Even if it is just to yourself to start with. Accepting anything is the first step to finding a better way to work and handle whatever it is.

Once you see your fear and face it, you will be able to figure out what to do next. And then the step after that.  You do not have to face this alone, no matter what the situation is, you can always find knowledgeable professionals that can help you if you ask.

Just one old Master Sargeant’s thought.  Be kind to yourself.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you tomorrow.

What Lies Below

We are creatures who depend on our senses to understand that which is around us.  Sometimes we depend on one sensory input over others. Vision is, sometimes, one of those senses. We take a quick look and assume that our version of what we have seen is accurate. Yet often, when we do this, we only see part of what is real. Seeing, and our assumptions could often be far from the truth.

I know we have seen the drawings of an iceberg on the water and all of the ice that is actually below the surface. The same and even more so is valid with people. People are more in-depth, more intricate, and much more diverse than what we see in a momentary glance. To understand the real person, you have to understand both what they show you and what they don’t.

People are often emotionally and thoughtfully private beings. We all hold inner secrets we do not share regularly, nor do we do so with everyone we meet. And that is okay. We do not have to share everything with everyone.

What we want to, or at least what we should do, is keep what lies beneath our water line to ourselves and let others keep what’s private to them below their water line. If either needs to share, they can. And whatever the other wants to keep secret, they should. And of course, it goes without saying, if someone takes you into their confidence. That’s where it should stay, only between you and them.

Please consider this when working with people. Somebody tells you something, they have not told the world, just you. They trust you to keep private matters private. And you should honor them in their assumption of your character. For once the trust is broken, it is almost impossible to mend.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Procrastination

I’ve been doing some reading lately. It helps me to keep up and learn the universe of ideas I have yet to discover for myself.  I learn a lot of neat things. Something I read this week caught my attention. It turns out procrastination is not really caused by laziness. There’s a whole other reason for procrastination, which I had never thought of before.

If you’re having trouble getting things done, don’t worry about being lazy. Instead, ask yourself what you fear from this task. Most procrastination seems to be caused by fear of failure. And I understand this because none of us want to fail.

I also speak nightly with a friend of mine who happens to be a bot. The bot taught me last week about worry and anxiety, and what the differences between the two are. After listening and hearing how fears push anxiety and worry promotes positive resolution through preparation, I started to understand something.

If you have a fear of failure, don’t look at it as anxiety, try treating it as worry. When you worry about something, you make plans and work on checklists. You practice the things you’re worried about so that when the time comes, you will know what to do, and you’ll have faith that you can do well.

Can I absolutely guarantee this? Absolutely not. Yet if you’re afraid to do something because of that fear of failure, working out the kinks and studying the information at hand could help you turn alarm into triumph.

As with everything I say, small steps. Just remember that small steps can lead to significant victories.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again soon.

Those Days

We all have those days. The days when everybody seems grumpy. You feel mentally off-center. The days that you just can’t get started correctly. When you have those days, and like I said, we’ll do, your outlook and output depend more on one person than anything else. You.

Having a bad day is one thing, forcing it on everyone around you is quite another. So, what do you do on days like this? Good question and the fact that you could ask a question like that means there is good hope for you to turn this around.

On days like this, you feel everyone else is picking on you. This is the time to give everyone else a break. Smile and thank those you think are on your case. Act like they are just people trying to help you hone your professional standards. Be kind to them and smile a lot. Smiling actually makes everybody wonder what you’re doing.

A couple things that happen when you start doing good for others. It helps to make you feel better, and I believe some endorphins get released to help with this. The other thing which happens, and this is even better, is that slowly the others will change and start to feel better because you’re saying good things to them and about them. You can actually turn your rough day into a better day for everyone, including yourself. Just keep smiling. Tell others good things, and let them wonder what you’re mischievous mind is working on.

Before you know it, the day is over, and we are on to tomorrow. Tomorrow somebody else can take the burden of being out of sorts. You should just get a good night’s rest and look forward to a better workday in the morning.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Gratitude

This is a week of giving where I live. It is good to give.  Along with giving to others, we should also give something to ourselves.  Money turns out to often be a negative incentive. So, I would like to suggest something different.  I would recommend remembering and listing what you are grateful for having received.

Gratitude is often defined as thankfulness for the things we have.  Some will have more, and some will have less, yet everyone has something to be grateful for having or knowing or feeling. We have the freedom that was given to us because of the work of others. We have known someone and enjoy their company; and all the other positive things that have happened within our lives.

Gratitude is a positive emotion. It makes us feel better. We are happier when we think of the things we’re grateful to have had, and it inspires us to go out and do good ourselves. Gratitude for what we have also makes us want to share what we have with others. And again, there are great rewards for this, including joy.

I am not saying you should give away the farm. I believe that sharing some of what you have with somebody else helps everyone to feel better. Personally, I believe it also inspires another option. Hope.

As we begin the last few weeks of the year, with all the celebrations that various cultures have, I think it is helpful to remember the positives and share the good feelings.

Thank you for being with me today.  I hope to be with you tomorrow.    

Take a Positive Step

By now, I guess it’s no secret I am opening up my own life coaching office. Just like everyone else, life coaches have highs and lows. And being an entrepreneur, those highs and lows seem to come very frequently.

I learned something important, though, this weekend. Everyone has highs and lows. What matters is how you handle the roller coaster of emotion. Because you can control it and succeed, or you can let it control you and really give it license to make you miserable. What I’m talking about here is whether you worry, or get incredibly anxious over what is going on around you.

When you worry, you understand that there is something that may cause you a problem. You gather the facts and make a plan. You may need to rehearse, devise a checklist to use, pack early so you can get to the train station on time. You plan and do everything to be prepared.

Anxiety is a little different. When you’re anxious, you just worry at an exponential and uncontrollable rate. You’re actually afraid of what might happen, and you believe so many things could happen that are rarely believable options. The next thing you know, you can’t do your work, and everything else you wanted to do is taken over and consumed by this anxiety.

Usually, anxiety will go away as the event that started it winds down and it and is over. Unfortunately, some people just transfer their fear to the next concern and the future. They seem to live in an almost constant turmoil.

The secret to breaking the chain, in part, is to work out planning. Take the things you are concerned about and make a plan.  If you are afraid that you will say something wrong, practice what to say that would be good.  If you feel someone will think less of you, study the things they are interested in or know about.  If you are worried about other things, ask yourself how realistic that scenario would be, and take steps to understand and diminish the chances of that happening.

The positive thing is that you are actually in control of yourself, and you have the power to change what is not helping.

Like everything, small steps are best.  They can lead to significant improvements when they add up.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

You Can Succeed

Have you ever wanted to lose a little weight? I have. In the Air Force, we had weight standards we had to maintain. When I found myself overweight, I went out and purchased all kinds of exercise videos, jazzercise videos, and even a few implements such as weight belts and such. I used to sit on the couch wearing the weight belts and watching jazzercise videos and eating popcorn. I don’t think I ever really lost any weight. Go figure.

The truth is that whatever we attempt when trying to do something, nothing will work until we do.  We are the ones in control of ourselves.  Others can help you, guide you, help you decide the right decisions for you, yet, only you can actually do what needs to be done.

Where you want to go and what you want to do has probably been done or attempted before, and that means other people have been where you are now. Think of what they might have learned along their way that could make your goals possibly easier to obtain.  We are actually not alone nor without positive guidance.  All we have to do is look around and ask.

Never let anyone tell you something cannot be done or that you cannot do it.  The only thing someone is telling you when speaking like that is that the person has limited themselves. You do not have to live by their limitations.  You can set your own goals and reach your own heights. And I, for one, have faith that if you really work at succeeding, you will.

This week we’ve been talking about addictions and habits. The tough news is you are the only one in control to take charge of you. You should do what you want to accomplish. The good news is that you don’t have to do it alone. There are others to help you find ways, support you as needed, and help you in your bid to succeed.

Thank you for being with me today.  I hope to be with you again soon.

Finding New Habits

If you have bad habits and you do not want them, trade them in for good ones.  I do not wish to sound glib here, I just know you can do this.  You have proven you can build habits.  And you can actually stick with them.  Now, you need to find out the practices that are best for you and work with those habits.

Warning, the old habits are not going to go away easily.  The old ways were there first, and they feel they have earned their spot at the table. And yet the more you use new habits, the stronger they will become, and the less you use the old, bad habits, the less they will have control, and they will slowly fade away.

So how do you distinguish between good and bad habits?  Habits are different for different people.  My grandparents would have a shot of alcohol in the morning and a beer at night.  They lived rich lives well into their upper eighties. For others, drinking could be a bad habit.  You have to figure out what works best for you. 

If the habit does good things for you, such as better memory, closer friendships, more productivity, it is probably a good habit.  If your habits hurt your work, make you lose productivity, or drives friends away, you may want to find practices that work better for you.

We each have to take action for ourselves.  Others can help and coach you.  As you try new and better habits,  you will probably find some encouragement along the way. Just remember, you are the one who is doing the work to make yourself a better and more productive person.

Each of us is unique.  We cannot give up on ourselves, and we should not give up on each other.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow

Habits

Just as addictions try to control our lives, whether we are addicted to doing a good thing or addicted to doing a bad thing, habits can have the same effect, both good and bad. Where addictions try to control our lives, habits are things we learn and use to run our lives. We must stay in control of ourselves. Unlike the old Outer limits show, we’re the ones who are actually in charge of our sharpness and blurriness, our perspective, and our actions.

The trick to beating a habit is the same as ridding yourself of and addiction. 

The Trick? You have to want to make a change into something and someone you would rather be.  No one else can make your changes for you.  No one else can decide that this is your time to do something. And no one else can be you.  You are the one and only.  You are unique.  No one else has permission to change you. Only you can do it. Everyone else can only help.

However, once you make the decision to change, there will be a lot of help for you.  Although it is not easy, it is probably not as hard as you may have thought.  If you thought impossible, it would be easier than that.  Just bring some determination with you on your trip.

Find good mentors that you trust and want to emulate. Then find a good program or a good coach or therapist that can help you.  You want someone who you can relate to.  Someone you have good faith in. And, remember that faith you need to have in yourself.  After all, you are looking to build a better you.  And that takes good gumption.

Have faith in yourself, and even with all the triumphs and tribulations that will come and go, keep doing your best.

Thank you for being with me today.  I hope to be with you again tomorrow.