Category: Uncategorized

Addiction

When my daughter-in-law married my son, I told her that she would never have to worry again.  I worried about everyone.  And that was true.  I worried whether there was a reason to worry or not.  Sessions with counselors, marvels of modern medicine, and other help have made me very well and a lot healthier. I do not fear a tenth of the amount I did in the past.  However…

I am worried, and not just for opium addicts, vapers, cigarette smokers, and those hooked on various drugs. There is a new addiction that has been around for years.  It used to be benign, and people would use it or not.  And anyone could walk away from it at any time.  Now, these modern marvels have been changed so that you will use them more, with less of an ability to succeed, and an endless stream of ads and side ventures that take you nowhere.  I am talking about video games.

Video games are getting people to sign up for free and then quickly stealing them away from other and more essential tasks to play games all day.  Add in multiple social media channels and an endless supply of videos and movies, and pretty soon, the user has no motivation other than watching the next kitty chase the laser beam or other wasteful time consumers.

When they talk about losing a generation, it is a real tragedy. This epidemic actually holds the ability to work across generations and wipe out whole areas of potential growth and new ideas. This is something we need to focus attention on before we end up with more problems than we have answers.

This week I will share ideas and thoughts on how to enjoy activities on the Internet without losing yourself to endless staring at the screen.  These ideas are just suggestions of things that might help.  The real work is what you do with them.

Thanks for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

The Importance of Black Friday

The day post-Thanksgiving is usually considered Black Friday.  Many people believe that it is a false concept designed to help spur Christmas spending. In truth, historically, Black Friday was the day that companies broke even for the year and moved from being in the red to finally being in the black.

Black Friday actually has more to do with the economy than selling for Christmas. Companies and industries will traditionally buy the new items that they need at the end of the year, so they can build interest with their money first. They buy at the end of the year, also, because they want to be able to claim the tax credits for the large purchases they need to make for new technology and machinery.

Another good thing about Black Friday is it gets everybody out of the house and into a social setting where they get to exercise. Some people stand in lines for long periods. Some people rush from sale to sale.  And others play a game of how many people can go through one door at the same time. 

Exhilarating, nerve-racking, tiresome, and many other descriptions that will, unfortunately, go downhill from here.  The one good thought that you should remember is that the young children you surprise In December will never forget the joy of the presents. Unfortunately, the actual credit may be going to a fictional character and not those who faced the onslaught of Black Friday. 

There is a silver lining, though.  If the presents are rejected for any reason, you have that fictional character mentioned above to blame.  You can take the tykes out to return the items and let them pick out their own desired gifts.

Just a thought for sanity over the holidays.

Thank you for being with me today, I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Prep Day

Tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving.  I realize that some who read my blog do not, so I am going to talk about holidays and preparing the day before. Getting ready ahead of time is something anyone can do for any holiday.

Where I live we like to watch ballgames, go to movies, have friends and family over and sometimes watch parades. We also enjoy having a lot of food, and maybe even a barbecue or a cookout. This means that while we are trying to enjoy everything there could be a lot of work. This is why I recommend a prep day.

Take a day or two before the event, and preset up everything you’ll need. Maybe you need to set up chairs or lawn furniture. Possibly you need to rearrange the living room to fit all your guests that are going to come. And any food items that can be prepared ahead of time and cooked the morning of the festivities could also save you both time and mess in the kitchen.

Often times holidays bring stress and tension. This usually happens because we’re rushing to make everything perfect, instead of relaxing and taking time to enjoy our friends and family. The real trick is to get things done ahead of time. So you have the time to be with those you love.

There is one more wonderful thing that many people do not do, which could greatly help. Sometimes when we get busy doing tasks with guests over, they feel stressed because they think they should get up and help in some way. Often the best thing you can do is ask people if they would like to help you by doing one small chore or another. Many people appreciate the ability to be of help to friends or a member of the family.

Also, it helps when we look at this time, not as a contest of striving for perfection. We should look at this is the time to relax and enjoy all those around us. If we do this, and if we relax our selves, our friends, guests, and family will also relax, and everyone will get to enjoy the day.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Relax and Enjoy

You may soon be celebrating holidays with friends and family. It is easy to go overboard with scrubbing, cleaning, cooking, and planning food for an invading army rather than the 10 or so guests you are actually having over. There are better ways to do this, though.

The first and most significant thing you want to do is to relax. This is holiday time. It is not a contest of you against everyone else.  You have nothing to prove. Friends and family accept you as you. And, this is a time for happy banter, not judgment nor pretending. 

Do everything you feel is needed in advance, so you have more time and fewer hassles when others are with you. Try to relax and have fun. I know this is hard, I am one of those who worry about everything and everyone. I have found that I was only making things harder on myself and everyone around me.

Life is more comfortable when you do not hold on so tight that everyone has a hard time breathing.  And no one needs to be the center focal point at all times.  Share the laughter, and share some of the work.  People feel better when they are included in making good things happen. If everyone at the end of the day is laying back and chilling, then it was a great day indeed.

Try not to push, and do not pull too much. Things work better when you let a natural current or flow move actions along.   You will find it just works well for everyone.

One other item to consider is to limit depressants such as alcohol. I am not saying a drink is a terrible idea. I am just suggesting that having a drink or maybe two should not turn into one of the most significant drinking nights of the year. I have never seen this scenario work out well during the night nor the next morning.

The idea is to have people over, have a good time, and have everyone leave safe and get home in good stead.  The biggest compliment will be the number of returning guests for the next holiday.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Family

This time of year is a vital part of our annual mental health and equilibrium. If you do not live near family or see them regularly, it is good to try to make arrangements to gather at some time during the holidays. It doesn’t have to be on the official holiday itself, sometimes a date near the celebration is often just as good. Visiting on a day before or after a holiday can take off the pressure of trying to have everything perfect just because it’s a holiday.

If you come from a high-strung background, or a life that offered much drama, a date near an event is often a better choice. It allows everyone to be a little bit more laid-back and relaxed. We have to remember it’s not a number circled on the calendar that makes something great, it is time spent with friends and family.

We think of family as the people, related or not, who accept us as we are, and can be themselves around us. No matter how many miles from family members we may be, we stick up for each other and have each other’s backs. Our family is comprised of those who care about us, worry about us, will be first to warn us if they think we are going in the wrong direction, and through acts of genuine love, sometimes get on each other’s nerves. Yet that’s okay, it is what family is all about.

Families sometimes move in different directions. Over time new members come and old members, due to reasons beyond anyone’s control, will move on or fall out of our lives. We remember those who have gone before us and cherish the additions. We hold places in our hearts for all of them, because we are family.

This year be kind to everyone in your family, especially those who wear on your nerves. And remember to smile a lot. It makes everybody wondered what you’re up to.

Thanks for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Your Business

In this life, within certain bounds, you can do almost anything you want and be almost anything you want to be. All you need to do is understand what is required and work very hard until you achieve your goals. I would recommend starting out by doing research and understanding everything it’s going to take and what order you must do it in.

I am not trying to chase you from something. Nor am I trying to talk you into something. I am just laying the facts out.  Go forth, not in fear, do it with eyes wide open.

I’m working on being a life coach. I have studied and practiced for over three years and am now practicing with experienced coaches observing and giving me valuable feedback. So, you might think all I have to do is start coaching. There is a little more to it than that.

I need to work with insurance agents to make sure the business is covered. I need to secure financial and legal advisors. Find an office and set it up and find an assistant who can help me with paperwork and clients. I must make sure that I have packets set up for clients with all the correct paperwork. And most importantly, I must go out and market my services so that people know that I’m here, and I can help.

I know it sounds like a lot of work, and some of it might be. Although it is something that needs to be done to set up and run a good business. If the office does not run smoothly, the ability to help people is severely compromised. When the business is compromised, it’s hard to do well for others.

I can give you the method I use to set up my business. I like to do all the research I can to make sure I know what I’m getting into. I take the courses I need and study so that I can learn the best techniques and by that be able to better help people. I break the tasks I mentioned down into easy to handle segments and try to plan them out, so they are easier to accomplish.

You can do this.  Is that a guarantee? No, there are no guarantees.  And many businesses do not succeed.  This is because of internal and external factors. Yet, if you do not try, you will never know.  Just understand what you are getting into.

Thanks for being with me today.  I hope to be with you again soon.

Work With A Balance in Life

As we go through life, we have much going on around us. Some things around us we are intensely a part of, and for some, we are merely in touch. And that is okay.

We do not need to be the center of everything for everyone else. Nor should we want to be. Only so many minutes exist in a day, and there is a limit to what we can do, no matter how much we think is possible. Every one of us can do only a finite amount of actions because not one of us is infinite.

It is still important you are in touch and know what is happening with those you care about. This is where balancing your work with the rest of your life is very important. The rest of your life is, after all, at least as important as your work. Everything else includes a great deal of the reasons that you’re doing the work to start with.

It is easy to assume all is positive on other fronts when you are working 16 to 18 hours a day. And yet, because of one word in the last sentence, you need to pay attention. For just like none of us are independent, none of us have the right, or the privilege, to assume. You need to stay in touch as much as possible and participate in both the good and the bad. Being there for others is of utmost importance.

Those in your circle, wife, children, relatives, and friends may not have the training and dexterity in your skills that you do, yet, you will find them an eager and excited cheering squad for you. And, believe me, there are many times you are going to need both positive words and the cheering squad.

Remember, when you think of the others that are important, no one is as important as those who have understood your quest and are on the journey with you to where your work takes you in the future. These people are with you heart and soul and are willing to stick with you through thick and thin.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Taking the High Road

As we follow our path in life, we should strive to walk the High road.   Breath the excellent air, have a good thought, or two.  And help those who are going with you and those who you meet along the way.  Feel good, for you are on an enjoyable journey.

At the same time, ensure you are walking your path to the destination where you want to arrive.  Even as we enjoy our travels into our future, some have not yet realized that people can have a path like the one you are taking.  They are working for the dreams of others.  These workers find themselves knee-deep in minutia.

Minutia is all the little things that happen along the way. The things that really don’t matter that much, and yet take up much of your time. If not careful, you can lose yourself with the minutia as it metaphorically buries you. Once that happens you can’t even see the light of day.

The temptation of minutia is with us always. We need to stay on the high road. In the second world war Gen. MacArthur showed us a way to do this. Rather than battling the enemy from island to island across the Pacific, he hopped over many islands. He attacked strategic spots that caused the islands he had passed to be cut off from their headquarters and supply chains. This tactic saved many lives on both sides and help the conflict end sooner.

Hopefully, the idea of working one major project to another without getting bogged down in politics, negativism or other problems could help you succeed in your endeavors. I have talked about the Eisenhower model before, and this simple method of figuring out what is important and urgent or not important or urgent can help you to better understand how important or urgent everything else that comes across your desk is. Work hard on the urgent and important items, and delegate those that are less critical.

I wish you good travels on the high road.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Emotions

They say that we live in cycles. I’ve come to believe that that is true. The technology may change. The continents, the empires, the democracies, customs, and even the physical attributes of the people may change. And yet one thing about the people doesn’t change. We may grow wiser. We may have more to learn. And we will definitely have different rules from one era to another, which we need to follow. So, what does not change? Emotions.

The biggest thing we can learn from history is the warnings about emotion. Rage, jealousy, lust, empathy, love, fear, the list goes on and on. Sane people who were learned in their history and knowing the facts of their days were often led astray, not by overpowering forces, instead, by the chemical structure within their own bodies as they yielded to emotions.

In our most prestigious schools, we study 5000 years of human history, and yet we see the same cycles of greed and lust today that were evident 3000 years before the common era. They say those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. We need to remember more than just history. We need to remember the causes. Look past the excuses to what rages within humans. It is the emotions that drive them.

We face terrible violence today. Shootings, bombs, and other mayhem are our nightly ritual of reporting on our television sets. Is this so different than the nightly street stabbings in Rome 2000 years ago? Think of all the villages burned, lands conquered and reconquered, people indiscriminately killed or sold into slavery over the thousands of years. These are not things done by people. These things are done by people with uncontrolled emotions.

We remember history. We know the warnings signs. Most of us even understand how terrible, uncontrolled and unresolved emotion can be. It’s not the weaponry used, for even when the weaponry did not exist, the outcomes were still very much the same.

The past is now gone. Our future stands before us. The question laid at our feet is, how do we deal with our destiny? Do we woe over the weaponry, do we argue over the Empires, or do we go to work on the real problem?

How to we reign in the emotions?

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.