Be Kind and Be There

I often wonder what the best thing is that I can do. As I look at my options, I realize that there is only one thing which stands out. The best thing I can do is be there. Just being there with others shows you care.

To stand shoulder to shoulder with others is extremely important. It shows that you care. You care enough to be there. Be humble and give honest advice when asked. But most of all be genuine.

Be a good listener. Do not interrupt. Listen to what the person says, rather than trying to formulate a response. The response will mean more if you have taken the time to hear the person’s full statement.

When you do make a comment on what the person has told you, be kind and honest. Talk to the person like you would like to be talked to. And remember the idea is to make them feel better and be better informed than when you started.

If you don’t have an answer to their situation, do not make one up. An honest answer of not being sure, given with empathy, always trumps a made-up answer that will not help the other person in the long run.

The best way to approach others is usually the way you would hope that they would talk to you. In a world full of so many slamming doors, so many people going unnoticed, and where so much heartbreak exists, kindness and empathy stand out like a beacon. If you are that beacon, you will indeed be remembered as such.

Have a great day. I will post again soon.

 

Giving Advice

There are times when it seems that everyone has advice about what you should be doing. Just because they do not know your circumstances or your needs, or how you perceive a situation, they are still there with what they believe is the way to fix your mistakes. I know I make my fair share of errors.  It just aggravates me when someone who only sees a small sliver of the concerns tries to force their solution into my life.   

This happens to everyone. And I have a secret for you, it’s also perpetrated by everyone. Yes, in one way or another, at one time or another, we all fall into the trap of thinking we know what’s best for someone else. And sometimes, we do this whether we mean to do it, or not.

If you find someone has taken you under their wing as their fix-it project for the week, thank the person kindly, take a quick check to make sure whether or not they are correct. And then move forward with what you know you need to do. Taking a few moments for a sanity check is always considered a viable action.

If the person giving you advice becomes aggressive in seeing suggestions implemented, your only real action is avoidance. You’re not saying they’re awful people. Because most people like this, including ourselves when we do it, are well-meaning. And yet, when push comes to shove, each and every one of us can back into the blunder of trying to force our way of doing things on someone else.

I do not wish to superimpose my thoughts into how you handle such offerings of this kind. I can only tell you what I strive to do in such situations. The first thing is to wait until asked to provide any ideas or comments. And secondly, when and if I am asked, I respond genuinely with care and understanding.

Thank you for reading the blog. I’ll write another one again on Monday.