Category: Uncategorized

Are You Feeling Overwhelmed?

If you are feeling overwhelmed with everything that is offered to you on a daily basis, you are not alone. It seems to be happening to all of us. New and inexpensive technology coupled with the ability to reach anyone at any time on almost any type of technical communication device is driving us all a little nuts.

The technical marvels we use to reach out and do new things allows others the same capacity. The problem with these new abilities is that some people try to push their product onto everybody, whether it fits or not. And, with over 7 billion people in the world today, nobody can build something which is absolutely needed by everyone.

How do we stop this? I am not sure. I know some people who send everything to voicemail and turn off the ringer on their phone. I check the caller ID and do not answer the phone if somebody doesn’t give us their name, or if it’s an apparent undesired call. Many have gone to cell phones, yet these uninvited intrusions on our life also find their way to cell phones, and even into our Internet.

I know of people who feel guilty if they do not listen to these calls or sales pitches. What we need to do is realize that we should pay attention to those things which affect us, or touch our lives and we should not spend time with those things which do not. Remember that for each call or advertisement we spend time on we are giving away something we cannot get back. Our time

At the same time, with modern marvels and a new wave of entrepreneurs being what it is, if the seller is up front, identifies our need and can swiftly prove a real need or true savings in their product that affects me personally, I will listen for a few minutes.

It will have to be something that saves me time and money, and something that I can easily explain to others, especially the kids. Remember, not everything is good or bad. Not everything is for you or against you. And, you, not others have to make that decision. It is okay for others to weigh in, and the ultimate decision is yours. So as the good book says, be gentle as lambs and wary as wolves.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

 

 

Be Who You Are

I find kids fascinating. They seem to soak up knowledge at an unbelievable rate. They’re honest, and more than anything else, they are genuine. If you ask a kid a question, you know you’re going to get a straight answer.

Kids are a little freer to think and learn because they don’t have egos getting in their way. If you have read my blogs, you have probably seen my observation that the main difference between teaching children and adults is that you dumb it down a little bit for the adults. Adults have egos which are bruised easily. Egos, especially bruised egos, make it harder for someone to learn.

Egos get in our way because we begin to worry about what other people think of us. We start to assume ideas of what others are thinking of us. And sometimes we develop false ideas of what we have to project to others and how we have to act because those actions are expected by others.

The truth is a little different. What we should do is be ourselves and be genuine. We should not act the way we think others think we should behave. We should actually be ourselves. No pretenses. No false airs of importance. No preconceived notions. Just ourselves. Ready to interact, learn, grow, and be happy within ourselves and our community.

I think I hear a thought sneaking into my consciousness right now saying,” Easier said than done.” I believe that anything we do is only as easy as we make it on ourselves. By being genuine, we get to live our own lives. We save time, emotion, and even money by not pretending to be something we are not. And, we feel better because we get to be who we are.

Think about this. This may not be something for the faint of heart. It is something that might help people wanting to be who they are.

Thanks for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Tell Me About It

It seems that we are more and more communicating with things and not with people. Phones have menus whose aim is to remove people and get you to the computer, or maybe a person, you need to work with faster. Our uninvited advertising calls are run by computers and computerized bots for the most part. And they are so good, that you can miss the fact you’re talking to a computer. With Cortona, Seri, Alexa, and all the other virtual assistants in our computers these days, we find ourselves talking even more to our computer, laptop, tablet, or phone. Speaking with another human is becoming more of a rare indulgence.

I find our new communication with computers interesting. The lack of human interaction has grown to the point some organizations are now offering a listener. The listener interacts with clients by listening to whatever the client wishes to talk to him about. He does not initiate conversation or dominate the conversation. The listener does empathize with the client, asks questions, and can offer an idea. I believe the best thing that a listener can do is either ask a question which helps the person to find clarity in the situation or questions which help the client consider alternatives.

Many people when offered a listener to talk to, shy away. I think this is because they are afraid they’re going to be judged in some way. As we begin to lose human interaction with those around us, our imaginations sometimes take over, and we can find ourselves paranoid, worrying about who will judge us who will try to take advantage of us, and who will mock us. I believe these fears are evidence of the pain suffered when social beings are isolated. We see this in the incarcerated, the elderly, and the ostracized.

I can also tell you many aggressive, angry and antisocial people feel so much better and content after talking to some who have taken the time to listen. They see that they have been able to exchange ideas with another human being and honestly be heard. They often would like to know when they can come back and talk again.

If I may suggest, talk to each other from time to time.  You may find empathy with others, you may keep fears at bay, and you may see that you feel better and are a little more outgoing,

Thanks for being with me today.  I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Be the New You

Not one of us is one particular thing. We are an accumulation of everything that goes on around us. It is easy to want to ignore problem areas, yet they are back there in the back of your mind somewhere. Everything from the big question of I am going to afford to send my kids to college to the house payment often causes us to carry a lot of weight on our shoulders. 

There are also little things which irritate us. The kitchen was a mess when I walked into it this morning. The lawn needs to be raked and cut. The car needs to be washed. The place needs to be picked up. These are all small annoyances. I have a secret to tell you about small annoyances. When you’re already irritated, the little annoyances can start to carry the same weight as the big problems.

We see this at every level of command. I remember a commander I had once. He was a full bird colonel who is very good and caring about his job and his people. I understood that after he left our group, he went on to earn his stars as general. One day, he came over to my shop and spent a few hours of the afternoon watching me running a performance test on a piece of test equipment. What I was doing was a very tricky test to perform. It required a lot of delicate adjustments to get three different parts of the test equipment to work together to achieve accurate readings. I was preparing the machines for a trip I was going on at the end of the week to Guam.  I needed to make sure everything worked, and I was up on the procedure before I got there.

Although the afternoon had its ups and downs, the Colonel sat there and just watched me. He looked around the spotlessly clean shop where I had 25 people working, and I could tell by the look on his face he felt delighted and comfortable there. I did not understand at the time, and I later came to realize that everyone needs to get out of their environment every once in a while and go someplace it makes them feel good. Even if just for a few hours.

Try to schedule a trip each week to a comfortable place. Just a little niche somewhere where you can feel right about everything.

About those little things that irritate you around your place, take charge. Put time in the schedule to wash the car. Have a routine where you pick up the house and clean the kitchen at a particular time each day. If you clean it before you go to bed, you wake up to a cleaner place. And I bet that makes you feel better in the morning. Trying to blame others or demand results or act the boss just ends up making us look like the fool.

To make things better, each has to take leadership and ownership. Results may not be immediate, yet given time and consistency positive changes will happen.

Thanks for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

 

 

Basic Truths

We have a lot of fun around our house. And, although some things are easy going, we have some basic truths that we live by. One reality is that if you’re hungry, there is a lot of food in the kitchen. Another fact that goes along with this first truth is, if you wait for somebody to cook something for you or make you something in the kitchen, you’re going to starve to death. There is also an axiom that goes with this that says nobody ever cleans up their own mess in the kitchen on purpose.

I know this sounds silly, and it may be, yet these rudimentary truths are essential because at the end of the day they are true. Who is the person responsible for you? Who knows if you’re hungry or not? Who knows what you like or hate, are addicted to (chocolate?) Or, are allergic to (dishpan hands?) All of these responsibilities belong to each and every one of us for ourselves. It is tough to guess what somebody else is thinking or feeling and actually be accurate.

I know this looks like I’m just having a little fun with you. Please let me tell you a true story of how this played out for me. Many years ago, I worked the night shift. One day I got out of bed, made it to the bathroom and was hit by severe dizziness and started severe vomiting. I was hanging on desperately to the floor, which I felt was moving in circles and would not stop. More vomiting at regular intervals intervened. I had never felt like this before, and I had no idea what was going on. All I could do was hang on for dear life.

While laying there on the floor, I had the idea that I needed to get up and do something. Unfortunately, I could not control myself to stand correctly. I laid there for another five minutes and then I formed another thought. The thought was, Mike, this is one of the dumbest places to die. I thought on that for a minute or two and then started calling to my wife. I explained to her what I felt even though I could not tell her why. She helped me to get some clothes on, then she helped me into the car. She drove me to our local military hospital while I held onto a bowl of regurgitated stomach contents.

At the emergency room, the doctors checked me over, ran some tests, and gave me some heavy antihistamines. They explained to me what I was experiencing and even gave it a name Ménière’s disease. All I can say is thank goodness Dragon Naturally Speaking knows how to spell it.

I learned a few things that day. I learned that if you ignore your body, it has ways of catching up with you. I learned that a loved one only one room away cannot help you until you ask them to. And, I learned that the only person who knows what’s going on with you is you. And, yes, I learned that to my way of thinking the bathroom floor would be a terrible place to die.

I tell you this story because we all have our own basic truths. These vary from person to person in both required action and intensity. When you have a little time think about this and see if you can identify some of your own.

Thanks for being with me today. I hope to be with you again soon.

Pace Yourself

When I see new things, I want to do them. I’m a very kinesthetic learner. This means I want to see, do, touch, try, rip apart and put back together. I want to know what it can do, what it could do, and where both it’s positives and negatives begin and end. If you aren’t sure, I am one more of those tumultuous ENFP people.

The problem is, I often find myself overbooked and tied to so many commitments and due-by dates, I cannot get anything done well. I am not the only person like this. I know many people in the corporate world who face this type of problem on a daily basis. Luckily, I once worked for the smartest Chief Master Sergeant in the Air Force. When I found myself wrapped up in commitments, he would tell me to slow down.

When my Chief Master Sergeant told me to slow down, I had a tough time initially understanding what the Chief was trying to teach me. I was running full speed 12-hours a day, and I could not keep up. I had no idea how slowing down could get everything done. One thing I did know was that he never frivolously told anybody anything. If he told me to slow down, it was because he had been there, and he knew how to get out of the hole.

When a Chief Master Sergeant tells you to slow down, he is telling you to take grasp of your commitments. If something is needed and doable, do it. If other items are more urgent, do them first and get a reasonable extension for everything else. Have a plan of what you will do and when. Every time a new request or commitment comes in, put it into the plan. Does this mean your plans will change? Yep. A calendar or plan of To-Dos is never absolute. Plans and schedules are only directions that are hoped for until the next crisis or higher need shows up. You have to stay flexible in an ongoing situation.

This whole system only works if you are genuine to yourself and to those who are counting on you. You will need genuine communication skills to keep everyone you work with, and all your stakeholders in the loop. When a Chief Master Sergeant tells you to slow down, he is not telling you to take it easy. He is advising you to get yourself and those who count on you organized.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

 

Believe In Your Work

If you’re going to do anything, you have to believe. You have to trust that you can learn to accomplish what you set out to do. You have to think it’s all right to make a mistake, or two, or three, or a dozen times, or even a gross of times. I believe it was Albert Einstein who said, “If you haven’t made a mistake you’ve never tried anything new.” All of this starts with someone believing in possibilities.

If you really, honestly, truly believe you can, then no one can stop you. If you really, honestly, think that you cannot, then you’re probably right. If it has to be done and you have no faith in your ability, then possibly you should turn the project over to someone who believes they can.

It is okay to be nervous, or scared, or panicky as you try something new. This is part of being human. And despite your best efforts, you have to realize that the first time you do, it will not be the apex of your creative goals. There will be lows and highs, setbacks and insights, failures and breakthroughs. Exactly how many times did Thomas Edison test different elements for the lightbulb? I am not sure, but the number 76 seems to stick in my mind.

If you are interested enough to do the work to get it right, you will eventually succeed. Just never give up trying. Never let others talk you out of your successes because of their lack of faith. Keep your faith and keep it close to you.

Realize what success will do for you, and realize what the success of your project can do to positively affect others. Never give up, never given, and never give out. Stay your course of what you know is right and always push towards the next goal.

I know you’re busy right now, and I don’t want to beat this point to death. If you pass a mirror along your way and see your reflection, tell yourself you are doing well and yes you will be okay.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Saving Time

It seems as though I’ve been fighting a cold this week. The illness is something that my wife gave to me. She likes to share. It’s not a significant event, yet it is an annoyance. It is one of those speed-bumps that just gets in the way of getting other things done.

I am trying to work from my desktop, and I have an annoyance where when I use dragon naturally speaking it crowds everything to one side of my widescreen monitor.  I don’t know why it is just another annoyance. It seems as though we are faced with annoyances on a daily basis, and I find that if I just look at them, and grumble about them, they come back for more.

I need to divide all my annoyances into various lists. A list of what I can correct, and a list of what I cannot correct. One way or another most things are correctable. The question comes down to does one have the skill to correct it, and do they have the time. Hence the ‘To Do List’ is born.

What we need is an ongoing list of items that need to be resolved. Review the ToDos first thing in the morning to see what you can do that day, and again before you go to sleep to help set up the next morning’s needs. Here is the big question though, where do we get the time to do so? Well over half of anything is organization, so if you can organize your To Do List, it will give you some of the time needed. Other time you can find by not playing a game on the electronic device for as long as you usually do. You can also save time by not looking at your emails and texts every 15 minutes. Look at them 4 times a day: morning, 2 o’clock, 5 o’clock, and right before you go to bed. Another way to save time is to clear out your email, so only those emails that are important to you get to you. If you work at this, there is always time hiding somewhere.

Do not short change your rest and do not shortchange those who you love.

Try this and see how it works. I am doing this also, and we can surely get together and exchange notes on what works and what does not.

I thank you for being with me today. I Hope to be with you again tomorrow.

No Is Not A Negative

I have begun to understand something new. If I need more time, I can put some things off. Okay, so that’s not the new part, I have done that for years. What I’m beginning to find out is that if I put things off, eventually they will come back, and I will have to do them anyway. And when I finally have to face them, I find myself under even more pressure to complete the items I have put off plus all the new demands that have come into my life.

So, what’s the trick? Sorry, no gimmicks. The only thing I have gained is the understanding that I need to do things as they are due and not put them off. Putting things off only asks for more grief. Instead of putting things off, use a two-letter word at the very beginning.

Everyone likes to be popular and to be so, we quite often feel we have to tell people what they want to hear. What do most people want to hear? Yes. Just think about that for a second. How many people come in and ask you a question hoping you’re going to say no and leave excitedly when you do tell them no? No may not be the most popular word, yet it could be the most honest.

To use the no word you have to understand what your time constraints are, what your job is, and what the positive and negative would be for taking on additional work which belongs to someone else. Quite often, with a person leaning over your desk and expecting a yes, it is hard to calculate the positives and negatives. That’s why they didn’t just send you an email. I think the best answer at that moment is, “Let me check my schedule to see if I can do you the best job I possibly can for you, and I will get back to you.”

Actually, take the time to see how busy you are with your work. Calculate the standing of the person who asked and what positives and negatives they could do for you. And then give them an honest answer.

I cannot tell you the right or wrong thing to say. I can only tell you that if you have time and can do a favor for someone you believe would repay that favor in the future, helping out could be a good move. If you have enough to do already and the person is just trying to put off their work onto you make sure you are able to do your best with your work. And no may be the most appropriate answer.

However you give the answer, be honest and genuine. No can be as good an answer as yes depending upon how you hand it back to the requester. In doing so, give them good suggestions. Offer to get back with them if your workload changes. Give ideas for others who may be able to help. Show interest in their work and check back in with them from time to time to see how things are going.

We are all a team. Dedication to the team starts with ensuring you can do your job to the best of your ability.

Thank you for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.