Love is a human trait

Love is a human trait.  Being loved in return proves success at being human. Not everyone gets to experience being loved. However, for those who do there is no better feeling in the entire world. Love is something that is fleeting, emotional, and full of risk. Love is also something which may stand the test of time, or be gone five minutes from now.

At its essence, love is. And, is given unconditionally. 

The why is rarely the same from individual to individual.  Often love evolves as small isolated actions are recognized and brought into a gestalt focus. Although almost impossible to define, the entire experience is undeniable to those who experience the actions.

If you do not identify the experience from another, it does not necessarily mean love is not there.  It only means the reception may be poor or not focused.  For some reason, and managed by higher forces in the universe, love is there for most.  The strange thing is that love almost never happens where we expect it to. 

The scariest part of love, it is quiet.  To experience love you need to open yourself to emotional dangers.  Becoming defenseless to any danger is not a normal human trait.  Not knowing the outcome to be positive or negative, each party stands in emotional danger.  True love is best taken slowly and built layer upon layer.

Love builds the bonds over time that are stronger than any other substance known today.  Love is more precious than gold or jewels.  Mainly because love is so much harder to find and flourish.

For all the hazards and pitfalls of the trail to real love, there is nothing like it and nothing better anywhere.

I highly recommend it.

Helping or Hindering?

Have you ever gone for a walk downtown? We have a great downtown it is alive and vibrant, and it is always changing. People shop and go to the movies and the theater. And there are great and wonderful restaurants. We have churches of just about every faith and denomination, and we usually get along very well. All our churches and many of our citizens work together to develop a safety net for homeless and indigent people.

We offer the indigent free meals, a place to sleep warm on cold nights, close haircuts and many had this back to a regular life. Many of the homeless will enjoy these various offerings, and yet not be interested in finding continuous employment. Many, perform a dangerous task of begging for money at major intersections, and at offramps to major highways. When they let people like me drive, I understand how dangerous, for both the driver and the beggar, such a precarious use of the road begging is.

I understand the desire for the homeless and indigent to do what they can to collect money. And I do feel for the plight of those who are stuck on the street. I was told that the homeless collect about $11 an hour begging at an offramp or a major cross street. I have also been told that those begging can collect $27 an hour.

I believe more protections need to be available to those begging, the drivers, and, the other pedestrians in the area. I am not sure though that this is totally possible. The ACLU protects the rights of the indigent and homeless to beg at the spots they use.

I do like and appreciate the work of the ACLU, and I think if they really want to help the poor and indigent, they should find better ways for these people to earn a living. After all, the ACLU is there to protect everyone, and we are all part of everyone.

The ACLU could work with the City and County, the local workforce center, and various state and federal grants, to find jobs for anyone who does not have a job. Some people can cut grass, and some people can use a leaf blower, or pick up trash. Some people can do assembly work. Some people can do assembly work, or help with recycling efforts.

Granted some people are just lost. They are confused, maybe with medical or physical impairments that make it hard for them to live a regular life. These people are the ones that we should really be taking care of. And, they are usually the ones, which are helped last.

I also understand, that doing one good deed for one person, often launches a bad deed of unintended consequences for another. Not so many decades ago, the legislature and mental health advocates worked together to empty mental health wards and hospitals. They believed, they were doing good for all those poor people who had been locked up for so many years. However, letting everyone go did some good for those who did not belong in mental wards. At the same time, it did horrendous damage to many who needed to be in and have the guidance of those wards and hospitals.

Many now roam the streets, and alleyways, with neither proper medication nor anyone to ensure they take the medication. I honestly believe we are doing a disservice to these people, and we should find better ways to handle the problem.Â

Of course, it all boils down to money. Emptying the mental wards in hospitals saved private insurance companies, and the federal government some big bucks. And they would prefer not to be required to pick up those funding streams again. Although, the costs and burdens now move to emergency services and transportation, city and county police forces and sheriff’s offices, businesses who have losses due to breakage or theft caused by those released from the wards in hospitals. And, private citizens who the mentally ill may attack.

I am earnestly searching for a better way to handle this concern. What we need is a more national discussion on this topic. I ask you to please send this blog to your friends and acquaintances. I also urge everyone to reply to the blog and tell us about any solutions you can think of.



How Many Shades is your world

When I was young, I knew that I knew it all. I had been schooled in the church. I read the Boy Scout manual cover to cover. I passed high school. What more was there? I knew what I knew, and nothing else seemed to matter.

Many people, not knowing they are only looking at one surface of the multidimensional universe grow up this way. They believe their ways, and the ways they were taught, are the correct ways. And, anyone who thinks differently is obviously wrong, or misguided. It happens when someone believes there is only one right way to do things, and you were taught that one and only correct way. Why would someone teach you differently?

As I grew, I started to see things from different points of view. This made me begin to doubt if everything I knew was correct. As I went through the military, I learned, I saw, and I experienced. This caused me to consider other points of view.

I received my associate’s degree late in my military career. I had always focused on my work over myself and was slow to complete the degree. Yet as I finished the degree, it did make me think.

When I went back to college for a Bachelor of Science in Business Management, I learned even more. Learning more made me think more, and made me wonder if I had now learned everything, or if there was more. I made a decision to go back to school for one more degree which I had always wanted. I took a Masters in Education and Training, focusing on adult education, corporate training, course development and long distance education.

As I finished my Masters, I had recognized there is a whole universe of items out there which I know either nothing or very little about. Knowing I do not know everything is a victory. Now I know, that I am a continuous learner.

The question is not if we know everything or we don’t know everything. The question is what are we going to do about it. We start off in a very comfortable, very easy, black and white two-dimensional world. As we grow, we find out that the world is not black-and-white, rather a three-dimensional world with infinite shades of gray (sorry, not only 50.) And, then we have a choice.

Some people except the three-dimensional world and move  forward to explore it. Some people reject the three-dimensional world and move backward towards the black-and-white of right and wrong. One way offers the simplicity and ease of comfort found in a small structured community. Others find great enjoyment and challenge by learning and growing in the larger environment.

I am not one to say that one is correct over another. The question is for each individual. Do they wish to live in a two-dimensional world with the rigidness of only right and wrong answers? Or, do they wish to acknowledge that all thoughts may have multiple outcomes, each of which which is correct depending on the situation at any given moment?

Please let us know what you think.



Never Stop Learning

Today more than ever it is vital to be a continuous learner and stay up with the times. Some people believe that they did all their learning in school. Other people continue to take classes after college, and believe these courses supplement and suffice for their learning. And, others never stop asking questions and seeking answers.

Today I want to give you a few tricks to being a continuous learner and give you some suggestions that I hope will help.

The first and most important thing we have to do as continuous learners is to admit that we don’t know everything. If we don’t do step one, we will never do any of the rest because we will believe we know it all.

The second thing we do is to ask why. In Six Sigma, we are trained to ask why until we can go no further down the path of gathering information. Normally this step is called the ‘Five Whys.’ You ask a question. Find out an answer. Ask why. Find out another answer. Ask why, and continue until there is nothing to ask why about any longer.  Finding the answer will initiate research. Research is where you learn.

Part of being a continuous learner is keeping up with what you already knew, and the new changes in those fields. Another part of continuous learning is staying up with new knowledge and new technology. Everything is changing faster and faster these days.

There is an excellent book on the change that is called ‘Who Moved My Cheese.’ I highly recommend that if you haven’t had a chance to read it yet that you do so. It is a fast read, yet it is very interesting and a guide on accepting change.

So why would I say that it is very important to keep up with new ideas and new discoveries? The reason is, we keep up with new technologies or, we are left with the technologies that we know. Whether its books from the library, magazines, snail mail, or other technologies. What happens is, as you give up on technology and new ways of doing things, your level of current knowledge starts to fall by the wayside. If most items are written for a blog, or a website, or an e-book, and you’re not reading those, how do you keep up?

I love to read books. Real, hardcover books. When somebody hands me a handwritten note or sends me a thank you card which they wrote out themselves, it tells me that they took enough time and cared enough to make it personal. I still have a landline phone in my house. Yet I also have a blog on the web. I have two websites one is not up at the moment, a training site for my courses. A delivery system which delivers my blogs weekly and E-newspaper that goes up monthly and other wonderful things. I’m only 63 it’s way too young for me to give up and start ignoring technology.


Have you ever noticed how frustrating it gets when your plans don’t go the way you expect them to go?  Have you ever gotten frustrated to the point where you cannot figure out how you got to where you are, no idea of how to get back on track, and just want to quit and hide?

Don’t feel bad we all get that way. We look at others on an outing, on a Saturday afternoon, and they look so much in control. We had problems with the store being out of what we wanted to buy, the kids having problems and being fussy in the car, or pets who decide they want to play chase and tag with you and run out the gate just as everybody’s getting into the car.

What do we do about our plans going wrong?  We learn to laugh a little. We understand these things happen. And, not to get upset every time something doesn’t go the way we desire.

Now you’re starting to think, “How did the pros do it?”  As a retired Master Sergeant, I’m here to tell you, there is no corporation better planning than the US military.  And yet, everyone in the US military who has ever been part of building a plan can tell you one thing, plans will generally fall apart with the first enemy contact.

You think I’m kidding you. I assure you I am not. We all develop our plans.  We plan the best we can.  We work with all our prayers, talismans, and other rituals to ensure things go right. And yet, in the end, there is always something that goes awry.

The question becomes, “Why do we do all of the work if we know at some point it will fall apart?”  The answer is simple, knowing that things will generally fall apart, you plan anyway. In that planning, you are continuously looking for the what-ifs, the contingents, the “if this” happens I will “do that.”

I’m not saying that you’re going to get lucky, although sometimes luck is involved. I’m not saying that you will think of absolutely everything. It’s rare. What I’m saying is, the more you plan, and the more you look at the contingencies, the better you will understand.

In understanding, you will see strong spots and weak spots. Having a heads up on strong and weak areas will make your decisions during the execution of the plan much better.  The decisions and changes are now based on what you learned during your preparation. What I’d like to suggest is make the best plans possible.

Every time I plan I know the plan won’t run as predicted. I do not know exactly what will happen to change the plan. I do know what options are available, and I can make much better’s decisions.

Ever planned, and the preparations made changes and decisions easier to make?  If you would like to share something about how planning saved the day when plans went awry, Please, give us a response and tell us what happened.

You Will Realize It When…

We own our fate. All the good and all the bad. Even when we feel not in control, we are responsible for ourselves.  We have family, friends, bosses, co-workers and support staff.  They truly help. No one is an Island. And everyone counts on others in their lives to help them win the day.

Yet in the hand, each of us needs to stand and deliver. The fighter in the ring, the lecturer, the course designer, the salesman, the Bartender, the cook, the secretary, the flight attendant, the doctor, the Explorer, the entrepreneur, and thousands of others, all have support staff either up or down the chain. And, they all have their moments where they put everything on the line.

Should we fear this and try to change it? Do we need to go to two-person integrity? Should we give up and hide? We know all the answers to these are no, of course not.

As much as we enjoy the comradery and support of those around us, those we love, and those we hold dear, what we do when we stand alone actually is a large part of making us who we are.

Be generous and share your wins with all those around you. Even if you’re a pilot that just flew the perfect mission, remember that you would have never gotten the plane off the ground if it wasn’t for some airman ensuring the air in the Planes tires was correct.

How alone are we in the world? Imagine the realization of the fighter pilot who, while walking out to his aircraft, is thrown a set of keys from an airman who says, “Well sir, if you bring her back I’ll fix her up again.”

Yet when standing there alone, you may find that the spirit of everyone who has gone before you, the essence of your coworkers and the love of your family surrounds you in knowledge, comfort, and love.


In our world, we have many fears.  We fear what is going to happen next.  We fear various animals.  We fear the dark.  We fear the roads we travel and if the plane will land safely. Sometimes we fear many other things. The truth is, both real and often unrealistic fears boil down to one thing. Fear of the unknown.

Fear of the unknown is very big fear. If I let my son go camping with the Boy Scouts will he be safe this weekend? If I let my daughter go to a slumber party will she be safe or are the kids going to find alcohol and get drunk? What happens if I am laid off from work? How will we eat and how will we pay the rent?

Being afraid and is a terrible thing. I know where I talk of because I lived the majority of my life in fear. Afraid of each decision I made, and afraid of where the decision would be right or wrong, and what the consequences could be. And, I was afraid to let anybody know I felt that way.

For me, it took hitting rock bottom the point where it took me two hours to drive home from the market, only two blocks away. I  had fear that whatever I said on the phone would be misinterpreted and taken has a danger or threat. And, even fear of my coworkers, I was not sure if I was doing enough to help them or not, and I was always checking up to make sure they were okay.

For me, I got to the point where I realized as much as I wanted to keep these concerns secret, for fear of what people would think, I knew I had to get help. I made a call and set up an appointment with a doctor. The doctor prescribed me a medicine to curb these worries. My first question to him was, “If I am afraid to drive now, why would you give me drugs? I do not want to drive on drugs.”  He laughed, looked at me and said, Well, I drive on those roads also, and I am not going to give you anything that puts anyone else in danger.”

It took a month for the drugs to take good effect, and I slowly release the fears. Not spending all my time worrying, allowed me to make far better decisions and start to enjoy my life a little bit. As time went on, I compared myself with the character on the TV show Monk. Tony Shalhoub had better writers, and I had better meds.

I write this to encourage everyone not to live in fear. If you need help seek out help, remember most fear is fear of the unknown. The fact is 65% of everything we worry about never comes to pass. I also recommend that when you fear something, do some research, get on the web and look up whatever it, and learn all you can.Knowledge is power. Should you still be worried about really dangerous things? I am. Just know what you are afraid of, do your research, and make sure the fear is rational one.

Please share this with friends, colleagues, and anyone else you would like.  You never know when a chance emailing can change someone’s life for the better.