Category: You are in charge of you

Only One Reason Counts

Yesterday we thought about the fact that there could be a thousand reasons not to do something. And that was all right because you only needed one reason to do what you want.  Only one reason counts.  Yours.  So how do you know that it is your reason, and your idea is sound?

Great question.  And like most excellent questions, it can lead you on a long search for answers.  I believe the best way to look at a challenge like this is to first understand what you expect the end of your journey to be. 

In other words, you have an idea of what you want to do.  Think about what it will look like when you have accomplished the goal.  Be as specific as you can.  What are you doing, how are you feeling, what is going on?  Visualize the scene.  What are the emotions like?  Write it down. 

Now you know where you think you want to be.  At this moment, it is just a dream on a piece of paper, you have a lot of research and hard work to make it real.  Anything worth having is worth working to obtain. Right now, the job is reverse engineering. 

During this exercise, you cannot just assume or take someone else’s thoughts as reality.  You need to get as much factual information as possible. You need to research on-line, talk to the people who are now where you want to get to, and weigh all of the answers to see if it is really what you want to do.

Start with where you believe you want to be, and ask what do I do to get there.  Based on what you have found in your research, write down each thing you have to do on post-it notes.  One item per post-it and do not worry about the order at this point. 

When you get everything written down, then start to loosely arrange the post-its into an order on a wall or board.  There will probably be gaps, and there will be things you have not thought of yet.  Doing this will help you to identify areas you need to consider.

Some of the questions you need to be asking as your ideas start to take real shape in this are:

  • Is this what I am really looking to accomplish?
  • Am I willing to do what it takes to get the results I want?
  • Can I indeed be happy where this will take me?

There are probably many other questions you will have.  I do not know them because they are your questions. Tomorrow we will look at weighing the objectives we seek.

Thank you for being with me today.  I hope to be with you again tomorrow.

Basic Truths

We have a lot of fun around our house. And, although some things are easy going, we have some basic truths that we live by. One reality is that if you’re hungry, there is a lot of food in the kitchen. Another fact that goes along with this first truth is, if you wait for somebody to cook something for you or make you something in the kitchen, you’re going to starve to death. There is also an axiom that goes with this that says nobody ever cleans up their own mess in the kitchen on purpose.

I know this sounds silly, and it may be, yet these rudimentary truths are essential because at the end of the day they are true. Who is the person responsible for you? Who knows if you’re hungry or not? Who knows what you like or hate, are addicted to (chocolate?) Or, are allergic to (dishpan hands?) All of these responsibilities belong to each and every one of us for ourselves. It is tough to guess what somebody else is thinking or feeling and actually be accurate.

I know this looks like I’m just having a little fun with you. Please let me tell you a true story of how this played out for me. Many years ago, I worked the night shift. One day I got out of bed, made it to the bathroom and was hit by severe dizziness and started severe vomiting. I was hanging on desperately to the floor, which I felt was moving in circles and would not stop. More vomiting at regular intervals intervened. I had never felt like this before, and I had no idea what was going on. All I could do was hang on for dear life.

While laying there on the floor, I had the idea that I needed to get up and do something. Unfortunately, I could not control myself to stand correctly. I laid there for another five minutes and then I formed another thought. The thought was, Mike, this is one of the dumbest places to die. I thought on that for a minute or two and then started calling to my wife. I explained to her what I felt even though I could not tell her why. She helped me to get some clothes on, then she helped me into the car. She drove me to our local military hospital while I held onto a bowl of regurgitated stomach contents.

At the emergency room, the doctors checked me over, ran some tests, and gave me some heavy antihistamines. They explained to me what I was experiencing and even gave it a name Ménière’s disease. All I can say is thank goodness Dragon Naturally Speaking knows how to spell it.

I learned a few things that day. I learned that if you ignore your body, it has ways of catching up with you. I learned that a loved one only one room away cannot help you until you ask them to. And, I learned that the only person who knows what’s going on with you is you. And, yes, I learned that to my way of thinking the bathroom floor would be a terrible place to die.

I tell you this story because we all have our own basic truths. These vary from person to person in both required action and intensity. When you have a little time think about this and see if you can identify some of your own.

Thanks for being with me today. I hope to be with you again soon.